Today, I told my friend over the phone that I had to go drop the kids off at the pool. She told me that she didn't need to know about my bathroom habits and hung up on me. I really had to take my children to the local swimming pool for swim lessons. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was alarmed to hear my daughter's boyfriend talk about dropping the kids off at the pool. She has no children. Turns out he was referring to himself taking a dump. FML
Today, I had to tell my 4 year-old, "I'm wiping my butt right now, I can't get you a drink. Please wait a minute." I distinctly heard my neighbor laughing through the bathroom window. FML
Today, I told my mom I was going swimming with friends. She told me, in front of them, not to go into the deep end unless there was an adult around because I'm not old enough to swim on my own. I'm 19. FML
Today, I had to end a phone conversation with, "I gotta go, my daughter's eating toilet paper." FML
Today, I was hanging out with my best friend. Depressed, I started telling her about my terrible week. A woman came over and asked me to not be so "whiny and negative" in front of her children. FML
Today, I was at the pool with two boys I babysit. The eldest wouldn't get out of the pool so I pretended to call his dad. He then ran out of the pool, pushed me down, grabbed my phone, chucked it into the pool and then ran back into the pool. FML
Today, my family and I attended a pool party. I never learned to swim, so I didn't bring a suit. When someone asked why I wasn't in the pool, my sister replied in a loud voice, "She's on her period and didn't want the pool to get dirty!" Thanks. FML
Today, I took my 4-year-old daughter to the local pool for swim lessons. As we walked onto the deck she turned to me and said "Mom, that lady has really big boobs!" The whole pool heard, even the man my daughter was referring to. FML
Today, while on a road trip, I stopped at a gas station and told my kids to go to the restroom. My youngest daughter said, "I had to go earlier, but not anymore." FML
Today, I took my class to swimming lessons at the local public pool. One student came out and proudly told me that she'd pooed in the shower, but it was OK because she'd then picked it up and flushed it down the toilet. FML
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Top comments
Mideoyeo 12
Its like people don't even think things through these days
gojira666 7
Thats where my mind went too....
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Comments (182)
drawmyhearton_fml 3
Are there really people who say "drop the children at the pool" and mean it as "taking a dump" ? O_e if so, that's a really weird expression!
False_Stupidity 42
Your friend is sick to death of you find new friends
baubabe05 3
I am happy to say that I didn't think that what so ever!
rebeccac3 5
Omg that I why I thought too! But--your friend sounds like a total Bitch)
melrose90210 10
I haven't heard someone say that since jr high.
cmb8280 24
Ppl ruins these FMLs by being all serious and trying to give advice. This is hilarious!!
MerrikBarbarian 9
Am I the only one who thought instantly of the Everything Comes Down to Poo song from Scrubs?
aprilita 8
I truly don't understand how this is an FML, **** your life because your friend thought you had to go take a dump..? Waste of an FML
Arrawyn 12
I assumed you meant swimming pool from the start. Your friends aren't the brightest OP
nattyuce 0
Hahahaha I laughed so hard when I read this you need new friends if they are serious about that haha