Today, I told my friend over the phone that I had to go drop the kids off at the pool. She told me that she didn't need to know about my bathroom habits and hung up on me. I really had to take my children to the local swimming pool for swim lessons. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was alarmed to hear my daughter's boyfriend talk about dropping the kids off at the pool. She has no children. Turns out he was referring to himself taking a dump. FML
Today, I had to tell my 4 year-old, "I'm wiping my butt right now, I can't get you a drink. Please wait a minute." I distinctly heard my neighbor laughing through the bathroom window. FML
Today, I told my mom I was going swimming with friends. She told me, in front of them, not to go into the deep end unless there was an adult around because I'm not old enough to swim on my own. I'm 19. FML
Today, I had to end a phone conversation with, "I gotta go, my daughter's eating toilet paper." FML
Today, I was hanging out with my best friend. Depressed, I started telling her about my terrible week. A woman came over and asked me to not be so "whiny and negative" in front of her children. FML
Today, I was at the pool with two boys I babysit. The eldest wouldn't get out of the pool so I pretended to call his dad. He then ran out of the pool, pushed me down, grabbed my phone, chucked it into the pool and then ran back into the pool. FML
Today, my family and I attended a pool party. I never learned to swim, so I didn't bring a suit. When someone asked why I wasn't in the pool, my sister replied in a loud voice, "She's on her period and didn't want the pool to get dirty!" Thanks. FML
Today, I took my 4-year-old daughter to the local pool for swim lessons. As we walked onto the deck she turned to me and said "Mom, that lady has really big boobs!" The whole pool heard, even the man my daughter was referring to. FML
Today, while on a road trip, I stopped at a gas station and told my kids to go to the restroom. My youngest daughter said, "I had to go earlier, but not anymore." FML
Today, I took my class to swimming lessons at the local public pool. One student came out and proudly told me that she'd pooed in the shower, but it was OK because she'd then picked it up and flushed it down the toilet. FML
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Top comments
Mideoyeo 12
Its like people don't even think things through these days
gojira666 7
Thats where my mind went too....
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Comments (182)
fordman22 0
Hop a fence and poop in your neighbors pool at night, they'll love it! What a fun surprise!
bigtaytay 13
While I was reading this I was dropping the kids off at the pool
heyred 11
I must live under a rock - is that the new euphemism for hitting the head?
TrippingOnAcid 29
I don't understand how she thought you meant the bathroom...
flicka89 15
i laughed.. out loud
lefty619 6
How is this a **** my life? This is more of something to laugh at in your daily life
eatsleepjb 8
Naughty naughty friend!
nsdq160th200 1
Ur kids are the logs u dropped in da toilet!!! Haha
eatsleepjb 8
I think you mean "your kids are the logs you dropped in the toilet" "da" is not a word and neither is "ur"
eatsleepjb 8
The only thing I can think of is that the kids are the poop and the pool is the toilet, meaning op had to take a shit. But if someone said that to me, I wouldn't think of that. I agree that The friend must have a dirty mind.
zyme 11
The first time I heard someone say that, it was a coworker and his wife called while he was gone.. Then she thought he was cheating on her because she had the kids and was supposed to be bringing them to the pool... He was in the bathroom, lol.