Today, my family and I attended a pool party. I never learned to swim, so I didn't bring a suit. When someone asked why I wasn't in the pool, my sister replied in a loud voice, "She's on her period and didn't want the pool to get dirty!" Thanks. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at a pool party, I had forgotten to bring a swim suit, so I went in in my bra and shorts. After everyone screaming and telling me to put my shirt back on, I asked, "Why? It's the same as a bikini." My best friend told me it was because no one wanted to see me topless. FML
Today, I was at a pool party. My friend's little sister pushed me in the pool, so when I got out, I pushed her in. She started screaming, and I started laughing because I thought she was pissed that I'd pushed her in. That wasn't why she was screaming. She can't swim. Her whole family witnessed it. FML
Today, my parents had my little sister's birthday pool party at our house. My mom decided to tell all the guests that the pool was "just for decoration" and nobody would actually be allowed to swim in it. Cue a million screaming tantrums and my parents and even me receiving tons of hate. FML
Today, my mom wouldn't let me go to the YMCA pool with the rest of the family. She said that the sound my thighs make when they rub together is "embarrassing". FML
Today, my girlfriend took a crap in my swimming pool. Her excuse? She had to go. FML
Today, my mother asked me why I disliked her and my father's nakedness in the family pool. FML
Today, I went swimming at a public pool. When I dove in, my speedos decided they’d had enough of me and slipped right off. I spent a minute underwater debating my life choices before realizing they’d floated to the shallow end, right next to a group of giggling kids. FML
Today, I told my friend over the phone that I had to go drop the kids off at the pool. She told me that she didn't need to know about my bathroom habits and hung up on me. I really had to take my children to the local swimming pool for swim lessons. FML
Today, I took my sister and her friend to the new swimming pool in our area. They wanted to go down one of the slides, so I went up with them. At the top of the stairs, my sister's friend kicked me in the balls and then pulled my trunks off. They pushed me down the slide naked. FML
Today, I went to the pool with my son. One moment I'm sitting down, applying sunscreen to my legs, and the next I look up to see him squatting on the diving board, seconds before dropping a deuce into the pool. As we got kicked out, he screamed that it was my fault. FML
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Top comments
nerdsgetmehot 23
Aww. :/ I'm not trying to be mean by saying this, but you should probably take some swimming lessons. It'll help, I promise!
omfgrofl1337 0
your sister is a win
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Comments (136)
Freeze_fml 17
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
How gross. Go learn how to swim. Everyone should learn how.
Tasanasanta 0
Medival people did just fine for not being able to swim, she can too!!
Stupified 0
Agreed. Learn how to swim and learn how to take a joke.
katplayer 4
Not everyone needs to know how to swim. I know plenty of people who would drown in a pool and they get along just nicely. :/
Freeze_fml 17
Cool beans. I said they should learn. I didn't say they need to learn.
cstevanus 4
i never learned how to swim. i might eventually. but, theres nothing wrong with not knowing. hell, i also never learned to ride a bike.
Schizomaniac 24
To add onto iicaptain's comment: 100% of the time.
Person1233 13
Cstevanus, now I can assume you are a fat and lazy bastard. Thanks for the info :D.
Freeze_fml 17
Oh God dammit.
Schizomaniac 24
Freeze, the threadjacking will never subside. I suggest coming to terms with that.
twinny_sc 13
Gosh OP, she didn't want to embarrass you by telling everyone you didn't know how to swim.
suppressed08 2
Person1233, my god you're full of win:0
StoryOfTheYear 15
Lol what a witty sister
imaginaryvoice 18
Push her in the pool and say, "Too late, it already is."
xXBlAcKxWiDoWXx 0
What, white? I would rather wait until it comes naturally. :/
acccccccc 1
ya i agree #1 after awhile swimming is easy :)
acccccccc 1
i like your shirt #4
jake927 0
but don't forget to bring a towel
acccccccc 1
i like your shirt #4(i hope im replying to 4)
acccccccc 1
i click the reply on hers but its not working sorry :(
penecow290 3
You don't have to know how to swim to get in a pool...
Schizomaniac 24
45 But she ignores you. Why do you feel exclusive?
bigblue95 0
i never umderstood how someone doesnt know to swim. u literally just move. idk is it different to other ppl. i can understand if uve never been in water b4 though.
KiddNYC1O 22
81- there's ergonomics, techniques, and styles that to be learned. also, people literally panic
afrotasticchica 0
person1233: I think I might just love you.
pooponyuou 0
#28 how is announcing to everyone tht ur sister is having her period a joke? thts a private matter nd the sister was insensitive
sillybabee 3
haha I want that shirt(: where did you get it?
coolsteve 0
I nearly vomited at the thought of period blood in a pool. When I get a pool, there's gonna be a no menstruating women rule.
withered 30
"I nearly vomited at the thought of period blood in a pool. When I get a pool, there's gonna be a no menstruating women rule" You're clearly a guy that doesn't have a clue about period. If you don't know anything then shut up. The pool can't even get dirty if you have a tampon.
avenged7xforever 0
28- I have found that mentioning a girl is on her period in public never goes well. that's like telling every one of your friends that you have a boner or something
bentleyGCspeed 0
74, you are a creepy looking lil boy...
ljesm14 1
126: agreed.
claudia8D 0
that sucks so much... lol
B4SK3TB4IL 0
that's why u stick 2 makin sandwiches
omfgrofl1337 0
your sister is a win
KiddNYC1O 22
oh yeah?
cherrypieguy 0
I agree, I say we throw everybody in the water and leave them in for 5 minutes, to weed out the bad ones.
nerdsgetmehot 23
Aww. :/ I'm not trying to be mean by saying this, but you should probably take some swimming lessons. It'll help, I promise!
Hard_Luck_Aussie 4
hey 5 you hot, but that sucks your sis is a bitch
nerdsgetmehot 23
I made a helpful and serious suggestion and my comment got voted down. Awesome.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Yarr, us pirates don't need to know how to swim! #_o There be mermaidens and krakens in the sea. Ye be warned. And it ruins our eyeliner. Savvy?
nerdsgetmehot 23
Oh, iicaptain... :P That's true, Jane! Wouldn't want to mess up our pretty, pretty pirate eyeliner. Takes me ages to apply mine, yarrr!
YESimmaDoctor 0
Wow, that was horribly mean. I bet you make little kids cry too.
xxBrokenHeartxx 0
don't worry didn't seem mean to me(: and takes me ages too... (but it's all worth it ;)
cole86 0
try taking swim lessons. but ur sisters AWESOME!!!
FYLDeep 26
I find that the water is usually way too cold anyway. I'm generally purple after 15 minutes.
musicfreak9821 6
same here, if it was warmer I'd be able to swim
kanadezaki 0
wow, these comments are pretty harsh. "how gross" and "suck it up"? i'd sure hate to see anything embarrassing happen to them.
saralyyn 0
you could of have just stayed in the shallow side? your not gonna drown if water is up to your ankle. and learn to at least doggie paddle.
ComMed1 0
shoe probably knows doggie but not doggie paddle
thewhiteninja 0
win
XxGingerBbyxX 0
Ehh eww
Imnewhere 21
what's good beautiful
spikey818 9
just stay at the shallow areas of the pool