Today, my boyfriend found out it makes a funny fart sound when he blows hard into my mouth in the middle of making out. I can't get him to stop doing it every time we kiss. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend discovered how to make me queef on demand when he has his fingers inside me. I now feel like my love life has been replaced with fart sounds. FML
Today, I realize that my boyfriend's breath quite literally smells like a sewer. It wouldn't be so bad, except that he tries to kiss me about every ten minutes, and I have to hold my breath. FML
Today, my boyfriend discovered that I fart when I'm tickled enough. The best part was when he decided to show his family. FML
Today, I was watching a romantic comedy at my boyfriend's house. During the make out scene, I decided to go in for a kiss. He apparently decided to belch at the same time. I could taste it. FML
Today, my boyfriend discovered you can send sound clips as text messages. So far I've heard 5 of his farts in the past half hour. FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me and decided it'd be funny to blow raspberries in my crotch. He literally thought it was the funniest thing ever. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, my boyfriend endearingly told me that he's been taking advantage of my inability to smell due to a head cold, and he's been farting around me whenever he pleases. FML
Today, my boyfriend's farts got so bad that we made a deal: every day that he doesn't fart, he gets a blowjob. Suddenly, he's not letting gas out anymore. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time and we were alone. He was being super romantic and snuggling with me, and then out of nowhere he let out the biggest fart I've ever heard. He then explained how I should try to compete with it. FML
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Top comments
carry_on 19
And who said romance is dead?
L2U7A_E5I9A2E8H 20
How old is your boyfriend?
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Comments (122)
carry_on 19
And who said romance is dead?
isallwaysme 27
Glamour Of The Kill did.
lachy15 15
So did Parkway Drive.
ewang_ 12
You wouldn't know love!!!!
tjv3 10
Well stop kissing him. He will then learn
noir_heart 8
What I want to know is how he found this out in the first place...
icyhottt 11
I hope this isn't directed at me t.t
naxeeb 33
That sucks! Maybe you should try doing the same? Give him a taste of his own medicine!!
Caitie_kid 8
Or just stop kissing him until he stops.
rgriff27 19
It just sounds really painful to me.
NoFlippinWai 24
Make a game of it: close your lips when he is about to do it. and do it to him first. Then giggle and proclaim yourself the winner. Become really good at it. Men dont enjoy losing. He will stop eventually. My husband did.
jazzy_123 20
not really a taste of his own medicine. My bf and I do it to each other and crack up every time one of us forgets and then gets upset about it. Its our own little game :)
Martinez0285 28
how pootyful
pdp_fml 21
I'm sure that if you tell him that he'll get no sex if he continues that behavior, that he'll soon stop.
ZooMzy 9
How do you know they're having sex?
rflurry94 6
you sir, have a beautiful brain.
L2U7A_E5I9A2E8H 20
How old is your boyfriend?
isallwaysme 27
i would say around 13-14 judging by the username. but then again, my immature friend in grade 11 was doing this to his girlfriend not too long ago.
martin8337 36
Probably 12. # 8 I just saw that you said the same thing, I noticed that after I posted the comment.
caralily 10
My boyfriend is 20 and thinks it's really hilarious. But, he has the mentality of a 5 year old, so....
soulebelius 17
Judging by your username, it's likely that you're both on the younger side, so I'm not too surprised.
RadikulRam 16
#6, considering Merpaderp14 is subbed to pewdiepie, smosh, onedirection and shane on YouTube, I think it's really obvious.
mimiminx 23
Stalk much?
RadikulRam 16
Nope, a simple click, drag, click, click, click and click.
merpaderp14 6
actually were seniors in highschool I just can't say I care much about my username haha
HortonThelephant 15
Depending on just how much he enjoys "blowing hard", keep your eyes peeled op. He may be swinging for the other team.
jnanderson 16
What is the logic behind this? This makes zero sense
RedPillSucks 33
That would probably make more sense if he was sucking on her tongue during the kiss.... Damn. Just gave myself a bad mental image.
Noremac42 8
Is your boyfriend, by any chance, a lifeguard?
solesamurai 3
This joke doesn't get enough appreciation
awkwardlysmiles 12
Well just make it clear that theres nothing sexy about a mouthful of hot breath air. Shocking you actually have to explain this to someone.
AthiestNun 11
And every time we touch, I get this feeling. And every time we kiss, I swear I could die. You sometimes make a fart noise no, Always you blow I need a different guy