Today, my girlfriend asked if we could spice up our sex life. She didn't think it was too funny when I laid out all of our spices on the bed. She now refuses to have sex. FML
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend complained that we never have sex anymore. The only way she ever wants sex is missionary, with barely any foreplay. When I asked if we could spice things up and mentioned a few simple ideas, she said the conversation was making her uncomfortable and changed the subject. FML
Today, after sex, my wife of three months said, "You know, sex isn't as good now that we're married… Maybe we should take a break." I said we should spice things up. She said, firmly, "No, let's stop" and wouldn't talk to me for the rest of the night. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted to spice up our sex life, so we went and had sex in the park. We had 30 minutes of "spice", just to spend seven hours in jail. FML
Today, my girlfriend kindly broke the news to me that she doesn't want to take part in any sexual activity anymore because it's getting too boring. FML
Today, my wife complained that our sex life is too boring and vanilla. I have spent the last two years suggesting ideas to keep it interesting: S&M, swinging, roleplay, cosplay, public play, new toys, you name it. All I ever hear is, "Eww you pervert, that is disgusting and sick, how dare you even mention that." FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me to 'spice things up in the bedroom'. When I asked how, he said I could try wearing a paper bag over my head. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to spice up our sex life. He suggested incorporating bacon. He was serious. FML
Today, as I was about to have sex with my husband, I said I wanted to "spice things up." Apparently, our ideas weren't the same. He yanked my nipples as hard as he could and said, "Yeah, you like that?" FML
Today, after months of lacking intimacy in our relationship, my girlfriend decided to spice things up by covering her naked body with whipped cream. Except, we didn't have any in the fridge, so instead I had to politely lick shaving cream off of her while fighting the urge to vomit. FML
Today, I asked my wife how we could spice up our sex life. She wants me to dress up and talk like Joe Exotic. No, she wasn’t kidding. FML
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Top comments
FlashBurn 13
Wow, that's a poor sense of humor. Tell her to grow up and take a joke.
dannyboy66 7
sounds spicy
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Comments (249)
Cupcaken 0
she needs to be learn how to take a joke.
Lunachic91 6
People are always saying that women need to ask for what they want in bed. Perhaps ops girlfriend is one of the women who is insecure in asking already, and she was trying to be bold. Then op makes a joke of it. Perhaps she is a bit hurt, not just mad. Maybe op made her feel like an idiot.
Barney_Rubble_75 0
maybe she was a bit insensitive to OP in the way she phrased her request or a mocking tone? He has feelings too you know. I think his playful response (nice since he probably inferred that she thought him dull in bed) could have been met with laughter from her and then some oral action or something... they could have dusted each other with cinnamon sugar and got in to it! but she responded immaturely (which is forgivable of course). sounds like an immature, insecure couple here. Good luck OP.
solidus106 0
hahaha.... f her for not enjoying ur humor
LukeNukem_fml 3
haha you're a pretty cool guy for that.
alisaml 0
I wouldn't have been mad! that's funny!
ElizaDoe 0
are you really that dumb?
Barney_Rubble_75 0
are you joking? he's got a great sense of humour. clearly his GF isn't much of an initiator so ASKS instead and given that implies he's less than average in the sack, I think he was gracious to meet that rude request with good humour. surely his GF could hire a Porno, whip out some chocolate body paint, honey, whipped cream, feathers, fluffy handcuffs, lotsa lube and a 'butt invite', sex toys, etc. why couldn't SHE just spice things up? what's with women that TALK a problem to death?! Action is how to deal with men. No man alive would refuse exciting initiative from their GF.
qasimahsan93 4
I personally would have high fived you.
aardvarkish 17
Yeah, sux to be you, but you'll se see: a gf with a sense of humor is a rare find.
crystal0renee 0
I have a great sense of humor. more girls have one than you think.
aardvarkish 17
Very funny! Touché!
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
This whole exchange made me lol.
Loketiazo 0
lmfao your my hero!!!!!!
mlia172 0
that. is. awesome.