Today, my friend was waiting outside the store while I bought a newspaper. Through the window, I saw two guys getting physical with him, so I went outside and they took off. I muttered, "Yeah, I thought so." They then turned around and beat the crap out of us. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, someone was getting beat up by 6 guys. When I tried to help, they had a swing at me as well. The cops came when I was enthusiastically defending myself. They got away, I got arrested. FML
Today, my friend and I stopped at a convenience store. She mentioned that it was was "a bad part of town", and I angrily reminded her that just because it's a poor area doesn't make it bad, and that she needed to be more tolerant. We then got jumped, beaten, and robbed. FML
Today, two guys robbed me. As I wrestled them on the ground, my best friend just stood next to all this, telling me to give them the money already, or we'd be late for school. FML
Today, I was out when a guy walking with his girlfriend eyed me up. I made a shocked face at him and kept walking. The next thing I knew, his girlfriend was beating the shit out of me claiming that I was "the other woman." I'd never seen the guy before in my life. FML
Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? Go on then." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML
Today, I was walking to the movie theatre with my boyfriend, when three guys muscled over and told us to hand over our phones. My boyfriend didn't waste any time pushing past me and running like hell, leaving me in tears and almost having a panic attack. FML
Today, I watched as a guy hit my car, laugh when he saw me running towards him, and drive away. FML
Today, I was kicked out of the mall along with a bunch of my friends, sworn at by the security guards, and personally escorted all the way to the sidewalk, only to find out we'd been mistaken for another group of people. FML
Today, I decided i wouldn't take the bus back home from uni, instead I walked to the metro. On my way there, I saw a couple of odd-looking guys, but I thought, "Nah, just because they wear big hoodies and caps doesn't mean they're doing anything", so I ignored them. Two minutes later they mugged me in broad daylight. FML
Today, I was waiting in the car while my mom went into a store to get beer. A few minutes later, some guy was knocking on my window, telling me to open the door. I started cursing him out, thinking I was getting attacked. Turns out he worked there and was putting the beer in the car. FML
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Top comments
TaliaTerror 5
Way to be cocky. YDI
nadnerbz 6
Learn to keep your mouth shut
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Comments (136)
skitzofunia88 8
This is why I carry a hatchet in my backpack. You think I'm kidding?
downtime 13
Good for you, you carry a weapon in your backpack on the off chance you get jumped by idiots. Of course an attack takes less than a few second to begin, and I doubt you'd have time to even get to your backpack in time. After which you have to hope it isn't used on you. You're better off learning how to run fast, learn close combat and how to be aware of your surroundings.
Octwo 16
Congrats, here if they're unarmed that would be considered unrenreasonable force and you'd be charged with assault with a deadly weapon and possibly murder if they died. Herp derp we got a badass over here!
skitzofunia88 8
For one it's called excessive force. Two, If a group of guys still wants to jump me after they see I have a hatchet, it is self defense. They can try to take it away and use it on me, but I guarantee I'm goin down swinging, and Im takin one of em to hell with me.
skitzofunia88 8
One last thing, I don't consider myself a badass. I'm paranoid, just because i carry a weapon like that around doesn't mean people need to be scared of me, I'm scared of people.
cjakobs02 7
As my bro says: Talk sh*t get hit..
omfgshiz 7
Now that rhymes... Lol
aileen15 15
exactly!!!! great answer :)
idontknowyou123 0
So much for the flight or fight response.
kenzie20 6
You need a third friend... With muscles like The Rock
boundbytheanimus 9
Hopefully not with The Rock's acting skills too.
Ruffclue 9
Paper beats The Rock.
treefitty 2
People's eyebrow beats all
drdraaman 0
Or John Cena....better yet, resurrect Bruce Lee from the grave...that'll teach them.
perdix 31
You shouldn't have interrupted a gay three-way. You should have quietly read your newspaper until they finished their business. I assume "getting physical" means the same in Swedish as it does for Olivia Newton-John.
DocBastard 40
You do realise that song came out well before most of the commenters here were born, right? That video still gives me nightmares.
perdix 31
You think you have nightmares -- I have the exact same outfit she wears in the video. Sleep tight! I wasn't born when most of Elvis' big hits happened, but I still ended up appreciating him.
Vulpes21 6
Lets all hear our bodies talk!
ShyAnn29 15
Now that songs in my head! Although I only know that one line "let's get physical" lol
HaraAishi 8
I thought the same thing Perdix...
DocBastard 40
Apparently "Yeah I thought so" is Swedish for "Beat the shit out of me and my dumb ass." No it's true! I looked it up on Google Translate.
Aug1508 9
Felt a little to manly huh?
SpottedZebra42 14
*too
Keliosan 6
^annoying.
nofearjenshere 12
The best part of this comment was Pikachu! :D
nexttonothing 0
funniest thing I've read all day
melrose90210 10
Back your words up. Seriously.