Today, someone was getting beat up by 6 guys. When I tried to help, they had a swing at me as well. The cops came when I was enthusiastically defending myself. They got away, I got arrested. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got bailed out of jail. I was there because I saw a girl being hit by her boyfriend. I rushed over to help only to have her hit me repeatedly. The cops came and she blamed her bruises on me. The boyfriend corroborated her story. FML
Today, I saw a woman being mugged. I ran up to help and pushed the guy off of her. She then punched me in the face and called the cops because she was, "just living out a fantasy" and I'm, "a lunatic for trying to help." FML
Today, someone tried to mug me. I panicked and ran. As they chased me with their knife out, I heard a slip and a shout behind me but kept running. Six blocks later I was spotted, arrested, and held for questioning by the police. The mugger fell, stabbed themselves, and told a cop that I did it. FML
Today, I'm recovering from being pepper-sprayed, beat with a baton and Tased, and arrested for assault. I'm a bouncer and was trying to remove a drunk asshole from the bar when the police showed up. FML
Today, I was not yet wearing my bouncer uniform when a fight broke out at a club. I intervened, only to have the cops who showed up tase me because they thought I was part of it. FML
Today, I got questioned by the police. Last night I was at a party when a bully of a kid who happened to be an aspiring MMA coach and local fighter was picking on me, stole my alcohol and threw me out of the party. I heard he got stabbed by someone else he was picking on after I left. The police insist it was me. FML
Today, my friend was waiting outside the store while I bought a newspaper. Through the window, I saw two guys getting physical with him, so I went outside and they took off. I muttered, "Yeah, I thought so." They then turned around and beat the crap out of us. FML
Today, I was brutally tackled and detained by a group of people until the police arrived, because I fit the description of a wanted criminal who was featured on the news. This isn't the first time this has happened, and no style change I've tried has been able to avert it. FML
Today, I decided to be responsible and call a cab to take my drunk ass home from the bar. As I climbed into the cab, I was quickly pulled back out and had the shit beaten out of me by a group of drunk guys who thought they needed the ride more. The police soon arrived and arrested us all. FML
Today, a customer at work became violent and started hitting me and my coworker. Not wanting him to get the shit beat out of us, I used a move that pinned the guy on the ground. The police came and he was arrested. I was then fired for assaulting a customer. FML
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Top comments
CitrusGirl 0
I'm sure the guy you were trying to help will speak for you.
amerwin 3
haha.. I bet you were dressed in a green leotard and announced "I'm kickass" before jumping in to help.
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Comments (64)
Zmeilerr 22
that sucks
WishResign 0
Why would you go up against 6 guys by yourself? I understand you were helping but there's a fine line between bravery & stupidity.
cradle6 13
♫ I'm fake, so fake, sooooo soooo faaaakkee! Wee-woo-wee-woo-wee-woo! ♫
DocBastard 40
See DocBastard's rule #7.
GaryBusey1121 0
can't we all just get along
docscientist 10
10, you don't deserve that icon. Captain Morgan wouldnt care if it was 6, or a hundred men.
WishResign 0
31, hilarious... -_-
AlpacaLove 0
and that's why i choose to be a bystander.
restythestar 0
someone's been watching too much Kick Ass movie lately..
WallyTheWombat 0
Yea when it's you vs 6, you just call the cops or maybe run your car into them.
CitrusGirl 0
I'm sure the guy you were trying to help will speak for you.
aardvarkish 17
2, I wouldn't bank on it.
jinxthejinx 0
He probably booked it, too.
felipe87 2
I hate cops
anythingcool 0
like, in the face/off way?
belouie 2
I hate that the cops always get the good guy thinking they getting the bad guy
ImaCanuck 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
That's why sometimes it's better off to mind your own business Esp with the numbers involved....
evanizle 0
don't be a pussy
willmatrix 6
yeah and last week a poor kid was beaten to death by a few guys while others stood by and did nothing to stop it
Deadm4u5 0
In some cases, you are required by law to step-in when seeing an unjust fight, such as the one OP described, only if you are buff.
VoodooGypsy 2
Or carry a knife or handgun. Just because chances are it won't happen doesn't mean it can't happen.
qazaq 1
Yeah just let em die (sarcasm)
bman134 0
ha that's y you call the cops and breakout your camera phone and take YouTube video
bonbonbj 0
so ur writing from jail?
docscientist 10
being arrested doesn't mean they locked you up.
Sadochan 0
In the cell in the station, yes they do.
RedPillSucks 33
Enthusiastically defending your self? Did you get the guy you were helping to back up your story, or did you just see a good fight and decided to join in?
TheDrifter 24
I'm going with just saw a good fight. I mean really, who doesn't like a good fight after striking out at the club for lack of cash?
amerwin 3
haha.. I bet you were dressed in a green leotard and announced "I'm kickass" before jumping in to help.
ImaginaryFoe 1
I thought the same. OP, unless you have faulty nerve endings, you've no business doing that.
GreenDayInHell 0
hahaha. I loved that movie xD
FYLwindowlicker 0
More like 'ass kick'. Classic!
White_Fury 0
I was thinking the same thing!!
Mami_Gaby18 0
your a dumb ass you know that. you shouldn't have even got in that fight its not your problem and now look what happened: you got your ass kicked and got arrested nice one
Fortuitous 0
Punctuation is powerful. OP used it, and you didn't (well not enough). So, have a look in the mirror and make a toast to yourself about your goal to learn proper grammar. *You're
scorpion2205 0
yeaa
itsgabriellee 4
8- First of all, how does wanting to help out someone make him a dumbass? I don't think OP did it correctly or with the right timing but I certainly don't see how you think he's a dumbass for it. Second of all, ^he^, is right. Learn some punctuation.
Syrael 0
taking out a couple of guys with a good excuse is win!
skateandsmoke420 0
how does that make them a dumbass? u don't just watch someone get beat up by 6 people. ur a douch bag. I woulda jumped in to
xgetxbentx 13
you have no business calling anyone a dumb ass when you can't even use the correct form of YOU'RE.
D3llo 0
haha el stupido
D3llo 0
haha el stupido
Onlynamethatwasn 0
jerk
mrmaks18 7
well that's not recommended unless ur name begins with Arnold and ends with schwassinger it's always a good idea to count before deciding what to do
DocBastard 40
I have to assume you meant "Schwarzenegger," yes? But what does the governor of California have to do with jumping into a fight? He's just a politician.
solegit 0
^ made me lol
PipXanadu 4
@17 good god.... you really don't know him well... you prob haven't seen any of his movies... True Lies is a good one imo if u get ur hands on it watch it.
facilitator 0
get to the choppa
perdix 31
I'll bet that even the guy receiving the beating kicked your ass and fled.