Today, I'm hiding in my own house, because my crazy neighbor wants to "play." Yesterday when I agreed, she made me spend the whole day with her, then burst into tears when I had to leave. She's been waiting outside for over two hours. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I'm hiding from my creepy next-door neighbor. She constantly trash-talks my partner of two years, she's mentally unstable, looks to me for support, has a raging crush on me, and she drunkenly tried to make out with me last weekend. I'm two months older than her daughter. FML
Today, I had to call the police to get my crazy stalker of a neighbor out of my house. When the police arrived, I found out that she was friends with the officer. FML
Today, I quit my job after two years. Now I have my crazy boss sitting out in front of my house, telling me she wants to work things out. She's been there all day. FML
Today, I moved into my new apartment. My neighbor is apparently crazy and thinks I'm trying to 'steal' her husband. She watches me and is super paranoid. I have a two year lease. FML
Today, my crazy mother-in-law threatened to camp out outside my house so she will "never get left out" of our lives, all because we called instead of sending a written invitation to my three-year-old's birthday party. I actually believe she's crazy enough to do it. FML
Today, my crazy neighbor screamed at me from her porch for walking "too close" to her plants. I was on the sidewalk. She sprayed me with her hose anyway. FML
Today, the crazy son of a bitch who lives next door to me once again got into a loud, rather one-sided argument with his cat. Twenty minutes later, he knocked on my door, asking if he could stay at my place for a couple of days. The look he gave me when I said no has me fearing for my life. FML
Today, I heard screaming coming from my neighbor's house. Since her husband has a history of abusing her, I called the cops. After they left with him in custody, she called to yell at me because they were "working things out" after "having a few drinks". FML
Today, a girl I've been talking to online for a while asked me if I wanted to meet her in person. Two hours of driving later, I end up at her house. When she opened the door, she screamed and called the cops on me. While detained, she called my phone asking why I never showed up today. FML
Today, I decided to sit on the back porch for a while to enjoy the nice weather and relax. Unfortunately, one of my neighbors was outside too, having a very loud argument with his wife for about 45 minutes. FML
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Top comments
BeastNerd 3
Ooh. Sounds hot.
KKMH 3
go out there and keep yo pimp hand strong!!!
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Comments (95)
_facepalm_12 0
This sounds like a plot to a horror movie
juturnaamo 29
Get a female friend to act like a jealous GF and make her stay away
pretty_coin 11
I am a girl...
juturnaamo 29
Well, it can't be that bad if you're more concerned about people thinking you're gay.
pretty_coin 11
how is that being more concerned people think im gay? she said get a female friend to act as my jealous girlfriend, and I was simply correcting that in fact, I am a female myself.
juturnaamo 29
Girls can have girlfriends though.
KaelaKhaotic 5
Everyone has one of those creeps...
chels1994 11
how old is she?
kobalt_fml 5
Sounds like she might have Borderline Personality Disorder.
LaDeFreakinDa 4
no.... that sounds nothing like borderline..... at all..... maybe you should read about it before you make dumb comments.
afulks78 11
Stalker..
ToriOhYeah 0
I have a crazy neighbor that always wants to play outside with me! She's in the 7th grade and when I tell no, I cant play outside with her, she says okay, leaves and comes back like 20 min later..
pretty_coin 11
Thats like my neighbour... except shes sixteen..........
ToriOhYeah 0
That's...weird haha
LTpast 3
Tell her you have some rare disease if she isn't too intelligent; or maybe you just have some off and on cold. (I have no idea how to fix this without lying unless you move; best of luck!)
pretty_coin 11
Woo! :D thanks for trying
ToriOhYeah 0
Yeah I told her I had something wrong with my eye, and it was contagious, thn after I told her, she was like... So can you hang out? I said no and shut the door.
alival 12
That's really creepy
daydreamer244 13
psycho!!
ajalan 4
If I was him I would watch you while you slept and touch myself. I would go into your bathtub and pull out all the hair I could find in your drain and I would take a piece of gum and chew it and then chew your drain hair with the gum and I would imagine I was eating you.