Today, I'm hiding in my own house, because my crazy neighbor wants to "play." Yesterday when I agreed, she made me spend the whole day with her, then burst into tears when I had to leave. She's been waiting outside for over two hours. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I'm hiding from my creepy next-door neighbor. She constantly trash-talks my partner of two years, she's mentally unstable, looks to me for support, has a raging crush on me, and she drunkenly tried to make out with me last weekend. I'm two months older than her daughter. FML
Today, I had to call the police to get my crazy stalker of a neighbor out of my house. When the police arrived, I found out that she was friends with the officer. FML
Today, I quit my job after two years. Now I have my crazy boss sitting out in front of my house, telling me she wants to work things out. She's been there all day. FML
Today, I moved into my new apartment. My neighbor is apparently crazy and thinks I'm trying to 'steal' her husband. She watches me and is super paranoid. I have a two year lease. FML
Today, my crazy mother-in-law threatened to camp out outside my house so she will "never get left out" of our lives, all because we called instead of sending a written invitation to my three-year-old's birthday party. I actually believe she's crazy enough to do it. FML
Today, my crazy neighbor screamed at me from her porch for walking "too close" to her plants. I was on the sidewalk. She sprayed me with her hose anyway. FML
Today, the crazy son of a bitch who lives next door to me once again got into a loud, rather one-sided argument with his cat. Twenty minutes later, he knocked on my door, asking if he could stay at my place for a couple of days. The look he gave me when I said no has me fearing for my life. FML
Today, I heard screaming coming from my neighbor's house. Since her husband has a history of abusing her, I called the cops. After they left with him in custody, she called to yell at me because they were "working things out" after "having a few drinks". FML
Today, a girl I've been talking to online for a while asked me if I wanted to meet her in person. Two hours of driving later, I end up at her house. When she opened the door, she screamed and called the cops on me. While detained, she called my phone asking why I never showed up today. FML
Today, I decided to sit on the back porch for a while to enjoy the nice weather and relax. Unfortunately, one of my neighbors was outside too, having a very loud argument with his wife for about 45 minutes. FML
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Top comments
BeastNerd 3
Ooh. Sounds hot.
KKMH 3
go out there and keep yo pimp hand strong!!!
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Comments (95)
CHOMP3R 0
She's probably like, "I'll get her when she runs out of food. It's foolproof(:
PinkFun1969 9
Sounds like this person is very sad and alone. This could turn out to be a match made in Hell. If people come around I just don't want to be around, I just tell them I talk to dead people. Lol
Angelrae 5
And your how old?
pretty_coin 11
I'm a teenager, so is my neighbour, but she acts like a child, and does NOT understand the meaning of the word "no". To make things worse, this has happened AT LEAST weekly since we moved here...... three years ago. More reason to FML.
txgirl09 5
Why don't you speak to her parents? And if they try to say 'Well, she has mental issues' or whatever make it clear that you are *not* there to entertain their daughter and they need to handle it. Does it seriously suck that this girl is disturbed? No doubt. However, you should be able to come and go in your own home as you please.
pretty_coin 11
Its not really that simple, shes lives with only her grandfather, who can barely take care of himself.....
Enslaved 38
Your situation sounds horrible! I bet you feel like a prisoner in your own house. I hope things for you get better and your neighbor finds something else to do to keep herself occupied. (:
darkmis1 18
Maybe try talking to your guidance counselor at school about her. S/he could probably get the help little miss crazy needs.
txgirl09 5
That is honestly not your problem. I commend your warm heart (truly I do), but if you're disturbed enough to be sending in an FML, then something should be done. I'm not familiar with the laws in your part of the world, but many people here in the US would make use of the laws we have for harassment after a certain point. And I am in complete agreement with comment #100.
JinxosGirl87 0
Time to invest in a taser
Buttsexpirate 9
Like a murderous neighbor, the police are right there, to be called! Poof!
SkateElement44 0
Wait, how old is the neighbor?
Ann23 7
I think you should tell her something so she doesn't continue to wait for you op!
kareltje 17
Open the door, tell her to piss off, then slam the door back in her face. That aught to do the job. If it doesn't, get a restraining order.
Damion_Laverne 6
Tell her you have herpes.
SorrowFull 8
"Puts the lotion on the skin, or it gets the hose again."
ikickgingers 15
Yes, it will, Precious, won't it? It will get the hose! I really can't make it through one day without quoting Buffalo Bill ...