Today, my husband thinks I stopped wearing underwear to be sexy. Truth is, I’ve gained so much weight during quarantine that even my granny panties no longer fit. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I walked in on my husband sniffing my sister’s panties from her laundry basket. He had the gall to defend himself and told me, “If you wore these sexy thongs and cheekies instead of them granny panties, I wouldn’t be doing this.” I wear “granny panties” because I recently gave birth to our daughter. FML
Today, I realized that I haven’t lost weight. All my clothes have just stretched to fit. FML
Today, I discovered that I can fit back into the clothes I wore in High School. I was proud of this until my husband told me that I look like a stuffed sausage in them. FML
Today, my boyfriend suggested I try on some old clothes, after weeks of eating better and exercising. The good news: they fit again, and are even a little bit loose. The bad news: somehow, I look fatter now than I did before I started trying to lose weight. FML
Today, I ran out of clean underwear and uncovered the pile of lingerie in the back of the drawer, none of which had been worn in over a year. Thanks, laundry day, for reminding me of how single I am. FML
Today, I now know why my new jeans are so comfy. They're maternity jeans. I thought the soft elastic in front was just for added comfort. Apparently, I need to lose some weight. FML
Today, I noticed some of my thongs were stretched out and now hung loose on my hips. I thought it might be the dryer set too hot but no, apparently my mom has been wearing them over her fat ass, and thought I wouldn’t mind since we occasionally share our hoodies. Not the same thing mom. GROSS. FML
Today, I realized I need to lose weight when I split my pants wide open while at my job directing a funeral, bowing to the casket in front of 200 silent devout attendees, during prayers. I picked that day to wear a red thong. FML
Today, when my mother-in-law told me I was losing weight, my husband started laughing. FML
Today, I'd finally reached my goal weight. I went into the office where my husband was, to show him the new size 8 jeans I'd bought. He responded with "I wouldn't buy any more clothes, you'll be putting the weight back on again soon." FML
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Top comments
Charlie Given 28
Well look at it this way, either your hubby hasn't noticed or he likes the thickness either way he still thinks you're sexy
RichardPencil 32
No, it's not. Even vigorous sex is not very good exercise, and people in good relationships tend to put on weight. If I had lots of sex but was fatter than I think I should be, I'd be ok with that.
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Comments (10)
JessicaandGhazi 13
I have also recently had a large struggle getting in my underwear due to weight gain. My boyfriend also recently made a comment stating that me buying medium shirts when I'm usually an XS or SM, that he doesnt know why I bought them because in a few weeks they wouldnt fit. And actually that made it to FML too haha.
Charlie Given 28
Well look at it this way, either your hubby hasn't noticed or he likes the thickness either way he still thinks you're sexy
RichardPencil 32
He sounds like a chubby-chaser who likes a nice FUPA. You're lucky to have found a Harvey Whalebanger.
Yudith 28
Good for you; sex is a great way to lose weight.
RichardPencil 32
No, it's not. Even vigorous sex is not very good exercise, and people in good relationships tend to put on weight. If I had lots of sex but was fatter than I think I should be, I'd be ok with that.
TinScarecrow 15
They didn't say "efficient". They said "good"
TexasKitten79 6
It's happened to a lot of people. You can be unkind to yourself and feel horrible, or you can do something about it. This is not meant to be unkind. Look into the Weight Watchers digital membership, it's working for me snd a lot of people I know, and the FB support group I'm in is so supportive snd everyone there supports each other. Please feel free to PM me if you'd like to ask questions. You CAN do this if you really want to!!!
Susan Yee 9
Steal his underwears. If those don’t fit too, ...well, good luck.
juggalo2 22
Wife: I hope this quarantine ends soon. I'm worried I'm getting fat. Husband: Don't worry. You were already fat. Cause of death: Covid 19
Gemfez 17
Yay. Sounds great. There’s no ‘way to go’ button so commenting.
marktime100 4
Men don’t care why you aren’t wearing panties, we just appreciate it!
Cheryl Brown 4
I’m there with ya.