Today, I'm hiding in my own house, because my crazy neighbor wants to "play." Yesterday when I agreed, she made me spend the whole day with her, then burst into tears when I had to leave. She's been waiting outside for over two hours. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I'm hiding from my creepy next-door neighbor. She constantly trash-talks my partner of two years, she's mentally unstable, looks to me for support, has a raging crush on me, and she drunkenly tried to make out with me last weekend. I'm two months older than her daughter. FML
Today, I had to call the police to get my crazy stalker of a neighbor out of my house. When the police arrived, I found out that she was friends with the officer. FML
Today, I quit my job after two years. Now I have my crazy boss sitting out in front of my house, telling me she wants to work things out. She's been there all day. FML
Today, I moved into my new apartment. My neighbor is apparently crazy and thinks I'm trying to 'steal' her husband. She watches me and is super paranoid. I have a two year lease. FML
Today, my crazy mother-in-law threatened to camp out outside my house so she will "never get left out" of our lives, all because we called instead of sending a written invitation to my three-year-old's birthday party. I actually believe she's crazy enough to do it. FML
Today, my crazy neighbor screamed at me from her porch for walking "too close" to her plants. I was on the sidewalk. She sprayed me with her hose anyway. FML
Today, the crazy son of a bitch who lives next door to me once again got into a loud, rather one-sided argument with his cat. Twenty minutes later, he knocked on my door, asking if he could stay at my place for a couple of days. The look he gave me when I said no has me fearing for my life. FML
Today, I heard screaming coming from my neighbor's house. Since her husband has a history of abusing her, I called the cops. After they left with him in custody, she called to yell at me because they were "working things out" after "having a few drinks". FML
Today, a girl I've been talking to online for a while asked me if I wanted to meet her in person. Two hours of driving later, I end up at her house. When she opened the door, she screamed and called the cops on me. While detained, she called my phone asking why I never showed up today. FML
Today, I decided to sit on the back porch for a while to enjoy the nice weather and relax. Unfortunately, one of my neighbors was outside too, having a very loud argument with his wife for about 45 minutes. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
BeastNerd 3
Ooh. Sounds hot.
KKMH 3
go out there and keep yo pimp hand strong!!!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (95)
yadudej 0
uh grow some balls and tell them no? lol
darkmis1 18
That would be the easy thing to do.
2wenty0ne21 0
Walk out completely naked. She'll leave
cargaljen 8
Will she?
deadlydk 0
Or will she want to play even more?
IKickPuppiesHard 16
If by play you mean pin him down and engage in sexual relations until the cops find them then yes. I agree with that.
Anbuntou 8
I'd say give her the face, inspired by Jenna Marbles. But then again... Hmm, that might not be such a good idea.
crownlogic 25
You have to commit to the face UNTIL it works.
doglover100 29
You have to keep doing the face, if that doesn't work you do the face and make animal noises.
shrimp1234 4
Rate this comment down I want to break a record.
s0m3guy2010 21
"Hi neighbor! Wanna play? I have some popsicles down in the dungeon... I mean cellar."
alannah1988 4
This sounds like the beginning of a horror movie...
jimmyjim13 5
Find a waredrobe and go to narnia
iNomBaconz 0
Throw some bricks at her... Works Everytime.
LilAngel606 5
creepy creeper
Sienna420 4
Call the cops