Today, after asking my hubby for what seems the millionth time to stop shoving his finger into my bum crack, I thought it would be funny to give him a taste of his own medicine by doing it to him. Right as my finger was in his crack, he let loose a huge fart. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, right before my hubby got home and walked into the bedroom, I farted. The smell was so bad that he thought he'd stepped in shit and to looked at the bottom of his shoes for dog poop. I laughed so hard, but with a horrified look he asked, "How"? He says I've got to see a doctor. FML
Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML
Today, I farted in front of my husband. It somehow turned into a farting war. Then I realized this is the closest we've come to intimacy in a week. FML
Today, my husband farted, grabbed a fan and blew the smell right at me. Disgusted, I reminded him that I’m a lady, not a dude. He burst out laughing and sang, "Dude looks like a lady." FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
Today, I was snuggled in bed with my husband. He thought because my butt was twitching that I was trying to be frisky. So he slapped my ass hard in attempt to get something going. I was actually trying to hold in a huge fart because last night I had diarrhea. Apparently I still have it. FML
Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time and we were alone. He was being super romantic and snuggling with me, and then out of nowhere he let out the biggest fart I've ever heard. He then explained how I should try to compete with it. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML
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Top comments
SoulEaterSE 23
#fingersinthebootyassbitch
dudeutookhrs 24
So who learned the lesson here?
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Comments (59)
Dune1988 18
Did he think he was cracking a good joke?
PePziNL 20
Darn tootin'
football98_fml 20
How the hell did this FML get published??
Denise1988 13
Right?! I submitted one about my Roomba running over a pile of cat shit and dragging it around my house and that didn't pass moderation but this did.
justsharted 5
I'm pretty sure that's rape
hacksaw246 24
Feminists alert!
Chibi_Hiroko 18
It goes both ways too, doesn't it?
angelnursery 18
Lets just agree that if they are really both shoving fingers into each other's assholes, it's shitty of them and they both need to stop.
tarlax 11
She said "bum crack", not "asshole". There's a big difference.
pawesome21 21
I have no clue how you have 2:1 ratio for having a bad life.
ESE_gutty 18
What ?
Red_140 5
Revenge is never the answer. Tbh, your life sucks but you also deserve it at the same time. Not sure what to say about it
DoomedGemini 38
But what else can she do? I can't really blame her for trying to show him what it's like to try to make him stop when he refuses to listen when she asks.
The_ghetto_mango 25
Sometimes revenge is the best way to teach someone a lesson.
AltoSaxophone 6
Works everywhere but court.?
The_ghetto_mango 25
Pretty much.
Redmond64 16
I'm pretty sure this never happened...
oreoeater 21
It's a trap!
Alpot 10
how'd it feel?
goldeniner49 8
LMFAO
sparkledoge 29
It was a risked move from the start. Since he seems to be really into it he could have enjoyed that and taken it as an invitation to keep doing it.