Today, after asking my hubby for what seems the millionth time to stop shoving his finger into my bum crack, I thought it would be funny to give him a taste of his own medicine by doing it to him. Right as my finger was in his crack, he let loose a huge fart. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, right before my hubby got home and walked into the bedroom, I farted. The smell was so bad that he thought he'd stepped in shit and to looked at the bottom of his shoes for dog poop. I laughed so hard, but with a horrified look he asked, "How"? He says I've got to see a doctor. FML
Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML
Today, I farted in front of my husband. It somehow turned into a farting war. Then I realized this is the closest we've come to intimacy in a week. FML
Today, my husband farted, grabbed a fan and blew the smell right at me. Disgusted, I reminded him that I’m a lady, not a dude. He burst out laughing and sang, "Dude looks like a lady." FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
Today, I was snuggled in bed with my husband. He thought because my butt was twitching that I was trying to be frisky. So he slapped my ass hard in attempt to get something going. I was actually trying to hold in a huge fart because last night I had diarrhea. Apparently I still have it. FML
Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time and we were alone. He was being super romantic and snuggling with me, and then out of nowhere he let out the biggest fart I've ever heard. He then explained how I should try to compete with it. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML
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Top comments
SoulEaterSE 23
#fingersinthebootyassbitch
dudeutookhrs 24
So who learned the lesson here?
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Comments (59)
neverready 25
And I thought I was the only one, whos SO does this...drives me mad! Although I'd never pay it back like you...I fear the same thing that happened to you :D And now I feel it's validated one should never do that...I pay back in tickles!!!
Tomryan279 10
I think your finger surprised him. Next time shove a ***** in his bum hole
je668 5
my ex used to do that and it drove me nuts. I explained several times that it was unwanted but he would get mad at me. I totally understand how annoying it is, some men need to grow up
GrapeJuice67 17
Well if he doesn't stop after this, OP, maybe stop having sex with him until he listens to you? He clearly hasn't listened to any other means of communication.
jefftheguy123 10
Your first problem is you calling him your "hubby".
Shadowvoid 33
This sounds eerily similar to my girlfriend and I, as sort of a game we play with each other, without the farting part.
CaityMandy 10
A butt crack and a butt hole are two different things sweetie
ndnpride88 25
Fire in the hole!!
hman1025 17
Probably did it on purpose but hey now you can do that.
Tannasgh 22
Don't wipe once and he will stop...
steam_engenius 21
Haha! Great advice.
AltoSaxophone 6
OMG yes! ??