Anonymous
United States
Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
sydneybourgeois
United States
Today, the guy of my dreams told me he liked me and leaned in to kiss me. Just as our lips touched, I ripped a big ass fart. FML
anonymous
United States
Today, my crush grabbed my butt while I was walking up the stairs. In surprise I farted. He won't even look me in the eyes now. FML
Anonymous
Terrace, Canada
Chemical warfare
Today, while sitting on the couch with my husband, I farted quietly. Not a big deal, except it's hot out and our fan was blowing in his face, and it stunk. FML
ECullen
United States
Today, I was talking to this guy that I like a lot and I think he likes me back. When he told me I was beautiful I laughed so hard that I farted. Loudly. FML
byebyeromance
State College, United States
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Anonymous
Salt Lake City, United States
Skittish
Today, I've been into this guy at work forever, and we've been flirting more and more lately. Today he came up behind me, but I didn't see him. He said "Hi!" and scared me so bad that I farted. FML
couldntholdit
United States
Today, I was hanging out with a guy that I really like. When he gave me a hug goodbye, he slid his hand into the back pocket of my jeans. It was glorious until I farted on his hand. FML
bubblewrap
Swindon, United Kingdom
An attempt was made
Today, I noticed a guy checking out my ass in the mirror behind the bar where I work. He was cute, so I thought I'd put on a little show. I bent over to reach for something near the floor, which caused me to let rip a series of uncontrollable farts, like popping bubble wrap. He quickly left. FML
Stinky and Single
United States
Today, I was sitting in a secluded corner of a coffee shop and felt extremely gassy. Thinking I'd be safe, I let out a pretty nasty smelling fart. Next thing I know, a cute guy is approaching me and asked my name, but all it took was for him to inhale once and he bolted. FML
john
United States
Today, the girl who I have had a crush on for two years snuck up from behind me and gave me a hug. I farted very loud at the same exact time. FML
Top comments
JackRocksSoSuckI 0
lol haha that's funny
bustyboi 0
that blows!
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Comments (427)
JackRocksSoSuckI 0
lol haha that's funny
TapeMan_3000 0
that "stinks" lol
fueledbyshar 0
It really "stunk" for her.
blitzen123 0
Lovely.
crazycornn 0
wow high five for originality e_e
crazycornn 0
#5, win XDXD
fmlurlife 0
sexy!
samantha_durano 6
that's hot.
F_MY_GF 0
lol!!!!!
neonokku 0
im actually afraid of that happening
GiganTronic 0
No they don't! EVERYONE knows that! Even crustaeceans know that!
ereyes94 0
your pretty :]
zZPedobearZz 0
LOL pedobear is very amused
cookie_monster2 0
now he'll be able to tell his friends he "tapped" that ass lol
Kiill3rQu33n16 0
I agree. It's really funny.
Bamfy 0
I'd smack your ass Samantha ;D
DGross 8
^^ Have fun with that... she's 15 you know Unless you're talking about an over-the-internet virtual slap with accompanying virtual fart... which would still be creepy.
Philosophic 0
In Soviet Russia, ass smacks guy.
Pearljammer001 0
the guy Is like; naw, never mind, that's just nasty.
jfarrow9703 11
that is sooooooo funny
MrTeabag420 0
lmao @flipjala. thts mad true
AngryNinja 1
105, who?
RaKum12 0
I find that sexy n funny
JackRocksSoSuckI 0
haha
mfmylifesrsly 30
can't be as bad as queefing during sex...
3DLoli 0
Loli is amused by Pedobear. <3
eastside09 0
haha ok anyone who is turnd on by a chick fartin is just wacked nd ... ppl wit there random comments Boone cares iight so just chill wit dat
eastside09 0
*noone
Oxymoronicule 0
In Soviet Russia, ****** goes in Penis.
Secret_Fire_King 0
So Op was ok with the really hot guy smacking her ass? If it were a really ugly guy would she have smacked his face, called him a "perv", and then reported him to the police? The moral: Hot guys can't be pervs or disrespectful, or be able to objectify women.. It's kinda like the "it's not rape if you like it" rule..
KaileeCat 0
Virtual anything is creepy in my book.
JackRocksSoSuckI 0
wow
topbanana 0
people of San Diego. wear orange tomarrow march 2nd!!!!!!!!!!!!
DavidCooksAngel 0
lol
MF12 0
*no one I'm sorry, I just had to.
nanerjl 0
hahahahahahahahahahah that is great
DavidCooksAngel 0
Revenge Is Sweet There once was an old couple who had been married for thirty years. Every morning the old boy would wake up and give off an enormous fart, much to his long suffering wife's annoyance. "You'll fart your guts out one of these days," she always complained.
DavidCooksAngel 0
After a particularly bad week the wife decided to have her revenge and got up early, placing some turkey giblets in the bed next to the old boy's arse. While making breakfast downstairs she heard his usual morning fart reverberate through the floorboards followed by a scream. Twenty minutes later a rather shaken man came downstairs. "You was right all along Missus," the old man says, "I finally did fart my guts out, but by the grace of God, and these two fingers, I managed to push 'em back in!"
cantdeleteaccount 2
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, Whoa, Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa......... GIRLS FART?!?!?!?!?!
saywaturcoco 0
#58 ur name is F_MY_GF....does that mean "fuc* my girlfriend"??
saywaturcoco 0
yh we girls can beat u men in farting competitions. : p
redbeater 5
ur hella white.
Nukey 2
Well personally I wouldn't mind a hot guy touching me, but an ugly guy would creep me out. Sorry. Also, it's NOT rape if they like it. The definition of rape is having sex with someone who doesn't want it... o.O
mfmylifesrsly 30
I hope 198 was being sarcastic. and 201 fails.
deathcab7 0
i think its pervish either way, even if the guy is hot. but its just a little bit better when they are at least cute :P
Austino713 0
well at least you didnt queef lol thatd have really sucked
KittehSayzRAWR 0
Lmao
KittehSayzRAWR 0
lmao!
hot_tamale26 3
wow. that really does suck. hopefully he didn't notice.
gomego87 0
shut up Samantha, u say that for everyone f'n comment..
yessiee123 0
omg wow!!
gotdapowa 0
you're a ****** dipshit.
garrettjordan 0
haha short but funny
subMortal7331 0
O_O what?!
QueenPersephone 9
If some random jerk slapped my ass I'd fart in his general direction on purpose. Or break his fingers.
Starchild21 3
I hope you say "Ex-queef me" after you do that ____________________________ www.myspace.com/rapid99
samantha_durano 6
248: it matters. *sarcasm for those who did not catch it.
presshome2bblown 0
agreed
sixbabydonkeys 0
I find it amusing when a girl queefs..lol
picabo889 11
AAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA THE SOVIET RUSSIA MADE ME laugh to tears
FYLDeep 26
That's hot. ---------- In Soviet Russia, ass smacks guy. ---------- Girls can't poop nonetheless fart. ---------- YDI for not making him a sammich. ---------- YDI for having an ass. ---------- That's Kinky. ___________ Did I miss any?
drunkssssssssss 0
hey can you fart on me I love when chicks fart turns me on
boyguydudemalema 0
sick bastard . . . i dont really mind chicks farting, but it doesn't turn me on . . . l
smileanyway 0
Well at least you didn't 'shart'...? look at the positives in life :) haha
Jakee_fml 0
heey
anela_fml 0
eh
Resquall 0
@100 This is off topic, but I was listening Killer Queen while reading your comment.. this coincidence scares me.
shakenbake93 0
Guys actually find that hot.
Hartzfeld 0
haha pedobear is amazing
thefailer 0
how is it better if they're cute? does it make a difference?
kylehogg 0
lollollollollol
damienwatkins 0
so you gave his hand a fart job?
Aah_Zombies 0
You guys aren't punny.
hXcsoccerplaya 0
what the hell? ;-) hXcsoccerplaya is very amused by pedobear's 3rd person statement that he is amused.
Sunset_Taco 0
better hope he has a fart fetish.
Sunset_Taco 0
not nessescarily. have you ever heard of age of consent?
michael32123 0
@50 you me = good buttsecks??
kevinwestonjonah 0
this is fake because no one would ever slap this fugly bitch on the ass
riseagainst1616 0
@kiill3rqu33n16 ur hot :p
megissocool 0
hot! XD
inthavong17 0
ur pretty cute Samantha :)
michie56 0
lmfaoo! fail
THeInSpEraTIOn4u 0
lol wait so has this happened to u??
slooty 0
hi girl killrqueen
Sunset_Taco 0
lol. similar thing for me. I tried really hard to outburp my friend, but I tried too hard and farted instead. everyone was laughing cause it's so immature.
nikcolburn 0
ha Monty python:D
thelegomogte 3
nAsty
tazshalis 0
that doesn't make sense....
ThatsMyHerpesBoy 0
so are you
JackRocksSoSuckI 0
immature bitch
funny_bunny123 0
#131, WTF is queefing
truelyawesome 0
sexy
ineededthatlaugh 0
)?$$$'bjndf
metalhead256 0
@87 WTF your stupid
soccer_babe 0
thats hot
exoticfuck 0
nobody is ever goin to read this comment >.>
DGross 8
^^^ :-P
raawwa 0
haha yes lovley
prisix 0
hahaha don't you get it ppls? it's self defense! XD I'm betting he didn't keep his hand there
kman25 0
wow:0
BrasilianBubu 0
lmaoooo that suckz badly
mredgecrusher 0
I agree with this person
isabelle99_fml 0
that really sucks
littlemissxtc 0
dirty bitch! hold that nasty gas in! lucky there was no "follow through"
livluvlaff8 0
yeaa it def "stinks"
hoopstar15 0
hahahahah!!!!!!! this is the funniest fml I've seen in a looong time lol!!!!!!
DeeBizz 0
lololololololol
pepper3434 0
Hmmm... Kinky.
jason2468 0
WTF 163?!?!?
deathcab7 0
my comments keep dissapearing. ): pooo. oh an op, that sucks, especially since he was hot.
pepper3434 0
Sarcasm Jason... Sarcasm...
tperknohomo 0
maybe the fart turned him on?
AngryNinja 1
ewy, fart fetish. like my mom/dad. :o
JackRocksSoSuckI 0
ya haha
Starchild21 3
wtf??? ________________________________ www.myspace.com/rapid99
Tht_one_crazyj 0
That's hot
angrynegro7 16
T.M.I, Angryninja, T.M.I
allen2020 0
all about myspace! f*** facebook!
Monikabug 9
Mom/dad as in they are the same person? Hermaphrodite perhaps?
AngryNinja 1
mom/dad, as in, they both have it. *sigh* you guys probably never read the thread where a giant discussion about my dad farting on my mom happened. your losses. ^^
Radix 3
that's hot 0.0 lol. fart fetish 0.o
ydi_ruuc 0
Oh yum, raspberry.
bustyboi 0
that blows!
xTBearx 0
That does blow! Hot air I mean...
AndreaHaha 0
lmao
ladiesman14 0
whats the big deal gorls fart all the during butt sex without a condim. get over it. queefing is normal too. maybe its my monster 9. inch ochocinco johnson
lil_ham1644 29
He shouldn't have knocked on the door if he couldn't handle who answered.
niesenator 0
That is gross haha poor guy. Sounds like you havnt been touched in a while.
brantzilch 0
haha i agree
Sun_Kissed18 25
Possible, might have been a scared reflex or she could have just been holding in the gas :P it happens, yes even to us girls
GeneralCha 3
I thought that was just a myth....
Tlizzle 0
Hot.
BooHaUrScared 0
hahahahaha
Mac10nikka 0
datz coo...who gives a ****...ur not gonna die... you deserved it
alleyx3 0
HAHAAAHAHA.
TheBreaKer_fml 0
omg 11. youre hella cute^^
armandoX113 0
lol i agree
Trent_Atkins 0
are you from northern California cause they always say Hella and it drives me crazy
kaylaamariee 9
hellacrazy
TheBreaKer_fml 0
nah im not even american
PsychoMerk 0
I'm from south Cali and they say that A LOT o.O it angers me! Dx
armandoX113 0
lol me too 4rm socal its funny
Dr_Pwn 0
hellanger
Trent_Atkins 0
I'm from so cal and I hate when people say Hella it is so annoying
cam007_fml 0
That's hella funny.
Qwerty86 0
Ha, smooth... At least farting is natural? Maybe not so much as a response though =P