Today, after asking my hubby for what seems the millionth time to stop shoving his finger into my bum crack, I thought it would be funny to give him a taste of his own medicine by doing it to him. Right as my finger was in his crack, he let loose a huge fart. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, right before my hubby got home and walked into the bedroom, I farted. The smell was so bad that he thought he'd stepped in shit and to looked at the bottom of his shoes for dog poop. I laughed so hard, but with a horrified look he asked, "How"? He says I've got to see a doctor. FML
Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML
Today, I farted in front of my husband. It somehow turned into a farting war. Then I realized this is the closest we've come to intimacy in a week. FML
Today, my husband farted, grabbed a fan and blew the smell right at me. Disgusted, I reminded him that I’m a lady, not a dude. He burst out laughing and sang, "Dude looks like a lady." FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
Today, I was snuggled in bed with my husband. He thought because my butt was twitching that I was trying to be frisky. So he slapped my ass hard in attempt to get something going. I was actually trying to hold in a huge fart because last night I had diarrhea. Apparently I still have it. FML
Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time and we were alone. He was being super romantic and snuggling with me, and then out of nowhere he let out the biggest fart I've ever heard. He then explained how I should try to compete with it. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML
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Top comments
SoulEaterSE 23
#fingersinthebootyassbitch
dudeutookhrs 24
So who learned the lesson here?
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Comments (59)
dragon91 2
If he keeps it up and you got it down when you know he'll do it put some peanut butter/chocolate right where his finger goes
Tonymac617 16
Do the same to him. Let it rip next time he's in there!
brenton490 19
ammunition for Dutch oven.
marcranger 29
I commend you on your restraint, OP, as I probably would've broken his finger by now. I once slapped my ex after he refused to listen when I told him to stop grabbing my breasts. He never did it again. You've already tried the reasonable way, and I suspect he'll only find this incident hilarious, so you might have to escalate things a bit here. He's asking for it...unwanted probing is not okay.
greatfirstdate 18
You are my hero. I wish I had the courage to do that to my exes when stuff like this happened.
vikky538 29
You pressed the wrong button!
RachelLo 4
You should return the favor next time he does it to you.
The_ghetto_mango 25
That was the whole purpose of this FML, how she was tired of him doing it to her and she wanted to return the favor.
SexyCheeksIzKool 15
Lol, bum crack.
ElTrumpo2K16 5
Hahahahahaha why does this seem like something my brother would do!!?
fisherjackson 4
Ok Amber rose
CarouselHeart 11
If he's doing that without your permission, that's a red flag.