Today, my dad explained to me the "chain of command" for our house. McKinley, Mom, himself, Charlie, then me. McKinley is my two year old daughter and Charlie is the dog. He was dead serious. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I realised my dad speaks to me the same way he speaks to my dog when she's done something bad. FML
Today, I was woken up by my dad and my dog barking at each other, and my dad yelling, "I am the Alpha male!" FML
Today, I noticed that my dad scolds me in the same tone of voice that he uses to scold our two dogs. Gives a whole new meaning to being treated like a dog. FML
Today, I went on a run with the family dog. I returned home to three missed calls and a hysterical voicemail from my dad. Why? The dog was gone. Not me, his 15 year-old daughter, the dog. FML
Today, my dad called my by the family dog's name, and stared at me blankly as if struggling to remember my name when I was annoyed. FML
Today, my Dad told me that I was named after the dog he accidentally shot in the head as a teenager. FML
Today, my mom confessed to loving my "little sister" more than she loves me. My "little sister" is the family dog. FML
Today, I was awoken by a conversation my mom was having with my dog upstairs. She was telling my dog that a ghost lives in our house. She was completely serious. The ghost even has a name and a backstory. FML
Today, my husband informed me that his father adopted a dog. I replied "Cool," he then said, "She happens to have your name." I think my father in law is trying to send me a message. FML
Today, I was laying my head on my dad's dog when he walked in. I jokingly asked my dad, "I'm cuddling with your dog, are you jealous?" At that same moment, the dog lets a massive, earth-quaking fart loose, and my dad promptly responded, "Nope!" FML
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Top comments
rebbee 0
YDI for calling your child McKinley.
purplecowchik 5
YDI. Time to move out already!
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Comments (161)
RyNo24 4
your living with your parents and have a kid? YDI...put a rubber on it
thatonename 7
lol. so very true.
thatonename 7
thanks disappearing comments. this^ not meant for that^^
failblorg 0
bash the dog and get your rep up dude. that'd work in prison.
pooper19 3
#1 it's you're
WishResign 0
Also, YDI for naming your girl McKinley. Stop trying to be clever, OP.
turkeymonster39 0
#49 I think it's cute. your name isn't good.
WishResign 0
51, and you know my name? no, you don't. nice try.
coolsteve 0
McKinley is a chavs name
twinny_sc 13
Do what 31 said.
christa953 12
aww Charlie is a cute dog name!!
ScrabbleBabe2010 0
Botox is not for plumping lips. You mean collagen.
robj118 10
Katie06, you sound like a real winner still living with your parents....it's probably better that your kid and the dog be in charge of you, maybe it will help you keep from getting knocked up again, dumb *****
MaximilianMarche 0
mmmm turkey
purplecowchik 5
YDI. Time to move out already!
ImJustMosh 0
apparently you're above him as well, commanding him like that?
SadinSherman 16
My sentiments exactly.
rizzosierra 0
lmao
marinus_fml 20
Does it matter? It's not like the dog or your 2 year old sister is going to command you around anyway. No matter what, your mum and dad are still above you (as they should be) and then there's you, because your pet and sibling is irrelevant.
itsgabriellee 4
5- It's his daughter, not his sibling. He's the father.
ImJustMosh 0
What she said
ohthebloodygore 16
It's a he? Marinus, two year olds are very bossy. :P
marinus_fml 20
Hmm 14, i see. I thought it said Mckinly was the sister. So I'm guessing OP still lives with her parents then. And OP is most probably a teenage mother? Bloodygore, IKR? glad I don't have a little sister :) or any sisters for that matter =P 3 brothers for the win xD and i think OP is a girl, hence her username.
babeeee13 0
mmmm, I'm the only daughter, I have two brothers. older too(:
snowboardlover 0
haha yeah OP is a girl but it's not like OP's dog can command her?
ohthebloodygore 16
39, true but he can ask for food, walks and so on. By 'ask' I mean the way dogs do. Marinus, I only have a brother as well and he's the same age, but I do have a son who is currently two. :P
MissLizWolf 8
OP is a he? that explains the name he used for himself... 'katie06'. some people... /:
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
I have lived in a house where myself and Mr. Doe were second-class citizens after the pets. One particular dog had some serious training issues, and was allowed to do whatever he wanted. Trust me, it was hell. We moved out a year ago, see the family at least weekly, and we're still trying to repair those relationships. I can't imagine trying to be a parent in OP's situation. Her daughter is given free reign, it seems. I'm sure a two year old can sense that she has no authority, even over the pets. How effective can she really be as a parent in that situation?
bankrupt 15
Jane, you are all over this. A child should not be the ultimate authority figure in a household. There is no scenario in which a dog should come before a human, no matter how annoying the human is or how upset one is with said human. The OP also has the additional long term problem of her daughter being treated like a queen and the OP being treated worse than the dog. The daughter will pick up on this; "I run this house and my mother isn't even as good as Charlie the dog." This will make living on their own someday very difficult, with a demanding, princess of a daughter who has been in a home where she outranks her mother. How do you turn that Titanic around? The OP's parents are obviously angry with her over this situation but they are doing their granddaughter no favors by spoiling her and essentially demonstrating to her that her mother is garbage.
lead999 1
its her daughter not her sister dude
lead999 1
its her daughter not her sister dude
sammygirl123 12
5- if parents should be higher in command than you, then this person would be in front of the two year old because that's their daughter.
SpaceMannn 0
haha it's kinda funny that he puts your mom before himself (not that there is anything wrong with that) ha.
TheDrifter 24
He knows the rule: Happy wife happy life.
TheDrifter 24
Did you think you outranked your parents? Your mom put the infant in charge, dad doesn't get a veto, Charlie likely listens better than you do, thus the order. Ask your mom, she might rank you above the dog.
rebbee 0
YDI for calling your child McKinley.
ImJustMosh 0
woah you have big lips
DarkHelmet 10
My thought EXACTLY sweet lips!!!
rebbee 0
Thankyou :-)
Sazzers 0
Oh Botox, you never fail.
marc_with_a_c 3
That. Seriously what kind of stupid name is that? Poor girl.
rebbee 0
I don't have lip filler of any kind! Everybody thinks I do mut they are au' natural! :-)
Zebidee 9
Can you imagine how sick this girl is going to be of the 'Mount McKinley' jokes when she gets to high school?
MeasaV123 0
Hate to rain on your parade, but it's a painting.
yummycupcakegirl 0
mans best friend> mans daughter
MaximilianMarche 0
you're super cute. an my mom lives in Vegas so I decide to message
yummycupcakegirl 0
thanks :)
Cinn_fml 23
Think about it, they are your parents, they will always be in charge of you whilst you are in their house. Your daughter (I'm not going to comment on the name) is in charge because kids are demanding and require a lot of work, the house probably does follow her lead for the simple reason that she is a very small kid. The dog, well, that was either a joke, or your Dad giving you one hell of a hint.
ohthebloodygore 16
Cinn, I think OP is in the bottom of the list because he either got someone pregnant or she got pregnant. Not sure on the gender of the OP. Also, comment on the name!
Nena713 0
OP is a female.
Cinn_fml 23
'Gore, we don't know how she got pregnant (the name says Katie, I'm guessing the OP is a girl, and shall use this assumption in the rest of my comments, most of the scenarios can be reversed if this is untrue), if we think she is an unresponsive girl who got herself pregnant then we are making a big assumption. We could also assume that she was responsible and had to move back in with her parents for financial reasons, or maybe she got raped? We don't know. However, I shall heed your request and comment on the name: McKinley? Is that a pet name for your daughter or her real name? This does lead me to think that people assuming you are a teen mum are correct, OP.
ohthebloodygore 16
Cinn, seeing as how OP is at the bottom of the list, lives at home, and named her daughter that... I'd go with irresponsible.
Cinn_fml 23
There is that 'Gore. I just can't bring myself to assume, well, I can, but I'm trying not to.
AkeemKN 1
u have no life u post on every damn FML I've seen for the past few months
Zebidee 9
G'wan Cinn - assume! Please? I want to see you troll, just once... ;D
Cinn_fml 23
Oh, go on then guys. YDI for calling your daughter McKinley, still living with your parents and not being responsible enough to use contraception. Grow up and maybe your dad wouldn't put you at the bottom of the pecking order! /Trolling. *shudders* I feel unclean!
Zebidee 9
Haha! Now wasn't that liberating? Next, I want to see you use the wrong version of 'your/you're' - but not yet - you need to surprise us. Actually McKinley is a pretty stupid name for a kid. I'm not surprised the dog out-ranks her.
Cinn_fml 23
*still whimpering in a corner* unclean...unclean...unclean..! I'd say I shall never use the incorrect version, but if I did, then I probably would. :P
kratos1586 0
this isnt an FML....ur just selfish -_-
Femtrooper 0
Well, grandchildren always rule grandparents, and you're the one who got knocked up without being able to support yourself. So..I see no problem with this list..
youknowimright 5
Exaxtly my thinking. The grandfather does not seem pleased with this situation.
anonymous100000 17
thank you. I was hoping someone would say it.