Today, I walked in on my mom showing her friends that she can deepthroat a banana. That's something I could've lived a long and happy life without seeing. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to get a banana for breakfast and said to my mom, with whom I currently live at age 32 because of Covid, that I don't normally eat bananas, but it looked good. She looked at me and said, "You clearly need to get yourself a man." She's right, but jeez! Thanks mom. FML
Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML
Today, I walked in on my 12-year-old sister, naked, streaming herself eating a banana. FML
Today, I was eating a banana, and decided to practice my blowjob skills, since my boyfriend is always complaining that I'm bad at giving head. Let's just say my lungs now have their daily dose of potassium. FML
Today, I overheard my mother talking to her friend, and using me as an example of how it's sometimes best to swallow. FML
Today, as I have been for 10 years, I'm allergic to fruit. After an argument with my mother, she yelled, "Here, have a banana and go kill yourself!" FML
Today, I walked in on my mom in the bathroom, washing a dildo. FML
Today, I was so sexually frustrated that I tried getting off with a banana. It was not enjoyable, for me or the banana. FML
Today, I decided to practice putting a condom on with my mouth. Then my roommate walked in on me using my mouth to roll a condom onto a banana. FML
Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML
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Top comments
v8nick97 11
That'll be hard to forget. Sorry, op.
thatoneninjadude 14
At least we know she's up on her potassium.
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Comments (94)
v8nick97 11
That'll be hard to forget. Sorry, op.
Zelphoric 25
Well at least OP knows his dad is happy... Just kidding, he'll probably never be able to eat a banana again without picturing that horrid scene
badluckalex 23
better than walking in on your mom deep throating your dads banana. but still, fyl op
Marley_000 14
Am I the only one wondering what deep throating bananas has to do with Florida?
noobsatin 19
always classy, never trashy.
Thebroskii 11
*impossible to forget
casey_miller9 13
Maybe he lives in Florida?
byefelicia1992 8
34- probably because this is typical Floridian behavior.
EphMi 5
#34, a couple of theories that came to mind are: 1. Florida is the state that resembles a ****. 2. she has "deep" love for Tramar Lacel Dillard (aka Flo Rida).
incoherentrmblr 22
At least you didn't see your parents having sex. I think that would be worse...
Derpish 11
Therapist help in this situation.FYL
Demig0d6 14
My condolences op
Rockabs 8
Would have been worse if she choked
Matrixuniverses 13
Oh god...why...
gramirez23 9
Why Florida ? Lll
aireeahna 23
oh my gosh I'm sorry but I can't stop laughing. hopefully one day you'll be able to forget op
beachygirl24 13
Good luck trying to eat bananas now! So sorry for your eyes, op.
thatoneninjadude 14
At least we know she's up on her potassium.
gjikvtj 18
That sounds quite fruity
martin8337 36
# 56, it would be if a guy was deep throating a banana.
Kielnmsoftly 26
And protein ;)
Cortezthe1st 23
Maybe you inherited her skills so you can pursue you dream of being a gay **** actor.
jojimugo 20
Dude nooo just no
foxwasalamb 24
#7 ...what.
SPARTAN11810 9
@7 no... just no
iunpossible 15
#7 You tried way too hard to pull something out of your ass.
EuphoricSadness 18
Oh god, I don't think I'd ever forget that kind of image.
weveallbeenthere 30
yeah, go mom. good thing she didn't choke on it. could you imagine having to do the heimlich on your mom and she spits the banana across the room.
krundale 6
Not surprising. Happens to me all the time.
Enslaved 38
"That shit's bananas B-A-N-A-N-A-S"
AquanTheDragon 5
Enslaved, have you never heard of the amazing AttackingTucans? The correct saying is "This shit is bananas! B-Q-L-U-F-E-T!" Have you no knowledge of correct spelling? *Professional scoff* (This was MEANT to sound like me being a pretentious and incorrect ass, don't take this seriously.)
0ss 12
I think that sounded better in your head then it does translated to text.