Today, I walked in on my mom showing her friends that she can deepthroat a banana. That's something I could've lived a long and happy life without seeing. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to get a banana for breakfast and said to my mom, with whom I currently live at age 32 because of Covid, that I don't normally eat bananas, but it looked good. She looked at me and said, "You clearly need to get yourself a man." She's right, but jeez! Thanks mom. FML
Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML
Today, I walked in on my 12-year-old sister, naked, streaming herself eating a banana. FML
Today, I was eating a banana, and decided to practice my blowjob skills, since my boyfriend is always complaining that I'm bad at giving head. Let's just say my lungs now have their daily dose of potassium. FML
Today, I overheard my mother talking to her friend, and using me as an example of how it's sometimes best to swallow. FML
Today, as I have been for 10 years, I'm allergic to fruit. After an argument with my mother, she yelled, "Here, have a banana and go kill yourself!" FML
Today, I walked in on my mom in the bathroom, washing a dildo. FML
Today, I was so sexually frustrated that I tried getting off with a banana. It was not enjoyable, for me or the banana. FML
Today, I decided to practice putting a condom on with my mouth. Then my roommate walked in on me using my mouth to roll a condom onto a banana. FML
Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML
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Top comments
v8nick97 11
That'll be hard to forget. Sorry, op.
thatoneninjadude 14
At least we know she's up on her potassium.
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Comments (94)
alilbitcrazy 10
I'm just imagining you having flashbacks every time you're in the produce isle
worldclassrager 41
What has been seen can't be unseen...but I don't think I can eat a banana again
dayavera 9
why would she show that to her friends???
naridelius 10
There are some things that a woman and her girl friends and gay bff's talk about and that is just one of them.
bobslawnservice 16
You'd be surprised with what women talk about.
vikky538 29
the picture in your mind you can never forget in your life...
EpicGuy70 13
Well, just look at the positives…… Awww who am I kidding there are absolutely none.
bobslawnservice 16
So, what is her number?
errorcode330 5
867-5309, and her name is Jenny.
PewDiePie_Lover 14
.... why the **** did you give a random phone number, whether its a joke or not?? that's now on the internet you know.
wvcheesehead 13
That was a popular song in the 80s, it has been on the Internet since Al Gore invented it.
kelsorg 21
bad timing.
gbrodee1 5
That Sucks
Capitan 15
Oh dear..
lina21 12
That's something that you definitely can't unsee. Sorry OP, that sucks