Today, I walked in on my mom showing her friends that she can deepthroat a banana. That's something I could've lived a long and happy life without seeing. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to get a banana for breakfast and said to my mom, with whom I currently live at age 32 because of Covid, that I don't normally eat bananas, but it looked good. She looked at me and said, "You clearly need to get yourself a man." She's right, but jeez! Thanks mom. FML
Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML
Today, I walked in on my 12-year-old sister, naked, streaming herself eating a banana. FML
Today, I was eating a banana, and decided to practice my blowjob skills, since my boyfriend is always complaining that I'm bad at giving head. Let's just say my lungs now have their daily dose of potassium. FML
Today, I overheard my mother talking to her friend, and using me as an example of how it's sometimes best to swallow. FML
Today, as I have been for 10 years, I'm allergic to fruit. After an argument with my mother, she yelled, "Here, have a banana and go kill yourself!" FML
Today, I walked in on my mom in the bathroom, washing a dildo. FML
Today, I was so sexually frustrated that I tried getting off with a banana. It was not enjoyable, for me or the banana. FML
Today, I decided to practice putting a condom on with my mouth. Then my roommate walked in on me using my mouth to roll a condom onto a banana. FML
Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML
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Top comments
v8nick97 11
That'll be hard to forget. Sorry, op.
thatoneninjadude 14
At least we know she's up on her potassium.
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Comments (94)
Pixiecrack 11
Ahahahahaha oh OP I'm sorry but that's just damn funny...ur mom's a champ, hopefully ur future wife has those kinds of skills :)
blurider17 11
Is she single?
MattM95 16
I guess someone won't be eating bananas for a while.
joshi42 16
Your dad is a lucky guy.
menfearme 10
O man that's just awful! The only thing that could make it worse is if she wants to discuss it with you later. Yuck
briang959 47
Lucky banana.
coklara 15
MILF
Enslaved 38
What did the banana say to the vibrator? "Why are you shaking? It's me she's going to eat."
mishacollins 15
Your dad must be a very happy man.
captainsmegma 12
Can I have mom's number? She appears to be a keeper.
byefelicia1992 8
thirsty guys be like...