Today, I walked in on my mom showing her friends that she can deepthroat a banana. That's something I could've lived a long and happy life without seeing. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to get a banana for breakfast and said to my mom, with whom I currently live at age 32 because of Covid, that I don't normally eat bananas, but it looked good. She looked at me and said, "You clearly need to get yourself a man." She's right, but jeez! Thanks mom. FML
Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML
Today, I walked in on my 12-year-old sister, naked, streaming herself eating a banana. FML
Today, I was eating a banana, and decided to practice my blowjob skills, since my boyfriend is always complaining that I'm bad at giving head. Let's just say my lungs now have their daily dose of potassium. FML
Today, I overheard my mother talking to her friend, and using me as an example of how it's sometimes best to swallow. FML
Today, as I have been for 10 years, I'm allergic to fruit. After an argument with my mother, she yelled, "Here, have a banana and go kill yourself!" FML
Today, I walked in on my mom in the bathroom, washing a dildo. FML
Today, I was so sexually frustrated that I tried getting off with a banana. It was not enjoyable, for me or the banana. FML
Today, I decided to practice putting a condom on with my mouth. Then my roommate walked in on me using my mouth to roll a condom onto a banana. FML
Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML
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Top comments
v8nick97 11
That'll be hard to forget. Sorry, op.
thatoneninjadude 14
At least we know she's up on her potassium.
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Comments (94)
sarneeley 14
I said you deserve it because you should be grateful that's probably how she got your dad.
token_blackguy 18
Can I get her number?
wvcheesehead 13
If your pop is not well endowed her talents may be going to waste... or she may have some splaining to do.
sabine123_fml 5
Is mom single
pdp_fml 21
Well, you could have seen her deep throating your dad for real.
headshot0330 4
at least she wasn't demonstrating on your dad
laden_swallow09 35
That's right, cupcake! Your parents have sex, too! Get over it. Where do you think you came from?
MisterEx 28
Personally? A seagull dropped me from the sky into my parents hands. Yes.
iwadasn 33
Obviously people know that, but it's still not something they like to think about. If you regularly think about your parents' sex life, then you're the weird one.
flipthebirdfuxku 10
Nobody said anything about regularly thinking about it, just coming to terms. It's something parents have to do as their children get older, why shouldn't the offspring give their parents the same courtesy? Makes life a lot easier, the acceptance of reality bit.
rockhead1270 5
Sucks to be you
rawlings123 17
I'd like to meet your mom
katiesha 9
maybe one day you will laugh about it... probably not. I feel bad for you.