Today, we found out that my unborn sibling is a girl, and my parents quickly named her. In a few years' time, "Candida" is going to catch all kinds of shit at school, just like I do for being named Dorothy. My "friends" have already started calling me "Lil' yeast infection's sis." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after two rounds of antibiotics, I got a yeast infection. My husband started calling me "Yeasty." FML
Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML
Today, I realized my sister has a yeast infection. How, you ask? Her tube of yeast infection cream and my tube of toothpaste look remarkably similar. I'm still trying to get the taste out of my mouth. FML
Today, my girlfriend referred to her yeast infection as "making bread." I can never look at bread the same way. FML
Today, I went to the doctor and was diagnosed with a yeast infection. It’s been 3 hours since I’ve been home and my husband won’t stop referring to me as "cheddar puss". FML
Today, I found out I'm going to have a sister. Who’s the mom gonna be? It’s my cousin from my mom’s side. My dad’s excuse? "Well, she ain’t blood related." FML
Today, while socializing after a church service, I discovered I'm still referred to as "Fireshit's brother", after an incident a year ago which involved my sister screaming "the devil is coming out of my anus!" from the lavatory. FML
Today, I couldn't contain my laughter when a patient told me she'd named her unborn daughter Twinkie. FML
Today, I found out that my sister's kids refer to me as their 'Drunkle'. I guess I have to admit to myself that I'm an alcoholic. FML
Today, I was diagnosed with polycystic ovaries and confided in my mom, after being told I would have trouble having kids. Five minutes later, I hear the whole family laughing about it downstairs. FML
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Top comments
ksktwin84 14
Show them a medical dictionary...with pictures
olpally 33
They really need to leave the ridiculous baby names for the celebrities. **** both your lives, hard. :( stupid parents. Those people are jerks also. :/
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Comments (165)
LitaSixx 7
Candida actually was originally a girls name, and Dorothy is an awesome name! Rock it! at least it's not Fannie or Barbie!
perdix 31
If your name is Dorothy Albicans, you life really sucks! It would be funny if your sister married Mike Conazole.
onorexveritas 24
maybe she can go by Candy
shutupmichaela 18
so that she can sound like a stripper instead!
buckeyed 20
I'd still be glad you got named Dorothy instead of Candida.
EvilLittleMan 23
Well they could name her Erica but spell it Airwrecka.
glabberfasted 16
Heirycha
Black_Cat_13 7
"Candida" is actually a genus of yeasts, not specifically a yeast infection.
chloem103 9
How did they choose that as a name?
hgmegafan 10
Well maybe kids won't be smart enough to know what that means in a few years...probably not... And also I am friends with a girl named Dorothy but she goes by Jordan
Cazz91 21
I wonder what made your parents decide to name your unborn sibling that for OP. o_O
NSN82 13
At least she's not born yet. Your parents still have time to change their minds.