Today, we found out that my unborn sibling is a girl, and my parents quickly named her. In a few years' time, "Candida" is going to catch all kinds of shit at school, just like I do for being named Dorothy. My "friends" have already started calling me "Lil' yeast infection's sis." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after two rounds of antibiotics, I got a yeast infection. My husband started calling me "Yeasty." FML
Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML
Today, I realized my sister has a yeast infection. How, you ask? Her tube of yeast infection cream and my tube of toothpaste look remarkably similar. I'm still trying to get the taste out of my mouth. FML
Today, my girlfriend referred to her yeast infection as "making bread." I can never look at bread the same way. FML
Today, I went to the doctor and was diagnosed with a yeast infection. It’s been 3 hours since I’ve been home and my husband won’t stop referring to me as "cheddar puss". FML
Today, I found out I'm going to have a sister. Who’s the mom gonna be? It’s my cousin from my mom’s side. My dad’s excuse? "Well, she ain’t blood related." FML
Today, while socializing after a church service, I discovered I'm still referred to as "Fireshit's brother", after an incident a year ago which involved my sister screaming "the devil is coming out of my anus!" from the lavatory. FML
Today, I couldn't contain my laughter when a patient told me she'd named her unborn daughter Twinkie. FML
Today, I found out that my sister's kids refer to me as their 'Drunkle'. I guess I have to admit to myself that I'm an alcoholic. FML
Today, I was diagnosed with polycystic ovaries and confided in my mom, after being told I would have trouble having kids. Five minutes later, I hear the whole family laughing about it downstairs. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ksktwin84 14
Show them a medical dictionary...with pictures
olpally 33
They really need to leave the ridiculous baby names for the celebrities. **** both your lives, hard. :( stupid parents. Those people are jerks also. :/
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (165)
mongoosemike 23
Dorothy isn't such a bad name, but Candida....not so much.
tjw1616 21
I have to admit, I do envision an elderly woman when I think of your name lol & I wouldn't take your friends too seriously, they sound hilarious, id just laugh & keep it moving, though if it really bothers you that much I'd have a serious talk with your parents about how a less unique name might be more appropriate and make it easier on your little sis
TheCerealKiller 24
At least she will have a fairly unique name and not have like 3 other people with the same name in her class every year. Could always call her Candy or something.
ebsblackwood 16
My grandmother (who is Italian) is named Candida. I never thought it was a gross name. She actually changed her name from Fiorellba to Candida, so she picked this name. It means candid or pure. She does go by Candy, but I call her Nonna Candida. I guess where you first hear the name is what you associate it with. My Nonna is a lovely person so I don't mind the name.
liquidpwnage 15
The way the average IQ is dropping with the younger generations, I don't think anyone will know what it is.
mythicaltimes 15
Sorry for that OP. Some parents are dumb that way.
Omniprism 15
I know a chick who's name is candida and she is a beautiful model.
Omniprism 15
You dumbasses. It's also a Spanish girls name. Look it up you idiots.
r0cks0 6
Parent usually go though a few names before the baby is born. Show your parent search results for the "name" hopefully they will get a clue.
ThaPrelude 11
What's wrong with your parents? They should take the crack out of their pipe