Today, we found out that my unborn sibling is a girl, and my parents quickly named her. In a few years' time, "Candida" is going to catch all kinds of shit at school, just like I do for being named Dorothy. My "friends" have already started calling me "Lil' yeast infection's sis." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after two rounds of antibiotics, I got a yeast infection. My husband started calling me "Yeasty." FML
Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML
Today, I realized my sister has a yeast infection. How, you ask? Her tube of yeast infection cream and my tube of toothpaste look remarkably similar. I'm still trying to get the taste out of my mouth. FML
Today, my girlfriend referred to her yeast infection as "making bread." I can never look at bread the same way. FML
Today, I went to the doctor and was diagnosed with a yeast infection. It’s been 3 hours since I’ve been home and my husband won’t stop referring to me as "cheddar puss". FML
Today, I found out I'm going to have a sister. Who’s the mom gonna be? It’s my cousin from my mom’s side. My dad’s excuse? "Well, she ain’t blood related." FML
Today, while socializing after a church service, I discovered I'm still referred to as "Fireshit's brother", after an incident a year ago which involved my sister screaming "the devil is coming out of my anus!" from the lavatory. FML
Today, I couldn't contain my laughter when a patient told me she'd named her unborn daughter Twinkie. FML
Today, I found out that my sister's kids refer to me as their 'Drunkle'. I guess I have to admit to myself that I'm an alcoholic. FML
Today, I was diagnosed with polycystic ovaries and confided in my mom, after being told I would have trouble having kids. Five minutes later, I hear the whole family laughing about it downstairs. FML
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Top comments
ksktwin84 14
Show them a medical dictionary...with pictures
olpally 33
They really need to leave the ridiculous baby names for the celebrities. **** both your lives, hard. :( stupid parents. Those people are jerks also. :/
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Comments (165)
havok87 11
Those are terrible names. I hate it when parents try to be original with names.
TheyCallMeDamien 18
Save your sister before it's too late. Dorothy isn't that bad.
itsmedorothy 1
We got the same name... Atleast she won't have to put up with the "where's your dog?!" Or " where's your red slippers?!" Every day....
suckitstyles 11
F your sister's life, seriously.
mk8833 9
Well that sucks, tell you young sis to go by "Candi" or something like that. At least it's not as bad as Candida I guess. In the meantime though you should buy your parents a medical dictionary.
mk8833 9
**your
sharonasaur 17
nickname her candy :D
angelene111 2
My name is Candida, I was named after my grandmother. I love the name. I was not teased about it because children didn't know what it meant unless my siblings told them. I was called Canada that's about it. The name means pure white that particular yeast is called that because it is white. My Middle name is Angelene which means Angel messenger. So what is not to love about "pure white angel messenger."
raspberryboo 10
I don't get
SaoriKichi 4
Candida is a yeast or yeast infection, which is just.....no. But since your parents seem to like stories with lessons, it could be a femenized version of Candide. Oh what a mess that story is. Either way F your parents naming skills. Dorothy doesn't seem so bad now? Eh? It's not terrible anyway, just mildly unpleasant.
lil_mars 1
Seriously, you NEED to convince your parents not to name her that.... That is just awful.