Today, I found out why my wife has been cold and distant lately. She went to a psycho fraudster - sorry, I mean "psychic medium" - who said I'm lusting after other women and am thinking about leaving her. She actually believed him. Now I'm considering leaving her for real. Well played, I guess. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my wife threatened to end our relationship if I didn't skip work and stay at home. She's into astrology, and apparently when one of those money-grubbing frauds writes, "Betrayal will come from someone close to you", it's reason enough to suspect that I'll cheat on her. FML
Today, my fiancée called our engagement off, because apparently she's actually a complete idiot who will believe anything that a slimy con artist tells her. In this case, a "psychic" who mumbled some shit about me having "a dark aura." FML
Today, I found out that my wife had been debating leaving me for an old boyfriend from high school. They rekindled their relationship on Facebook, and talking on the cell phone. Both things I insisted she have. FML
Today, I found out that my wife has been having an affair with the guy who's been trying to get our relationship back on track. FML
Today, my wife is leaving me for the guy she told me not to worry about, who is also her ex. FML
Today, my ex-wife called me crying that the man she left me for has lost interest in her, and all I could do was laugh. I could see from a mile away that he was just a player getting off on stealing someone's wife, but she was so moonstruck she actually believed he loved her. FML
Today, my wife faked being kidnapped. She composed a ransom letter and made calls from her phone screaming for help frantically and hanging up. I got the cops involved. Turns out it was all a scam, because she “wanted to see what I’d do” because apparently she “hasn’t been feeling loved” lately. FML
Today, desperate for some affection from my cold, frigid wife, I lied and said we had an attractive new girl joining our department. Without looking up, she said, "You guys can fuck, I don't care, just be discreet." Stick a fork in this marriage, it's done. FML
Today, my current wife left me for my ex-wife. FML
Today, I found out my wife of 19 years has been cheating on me. She told me that all the "cheating music" that she's been playing the last year and a half should've been a good enough hint. FML
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Top comments
Joshwarrior 39
Self fulfilling predictions are a bitch huh
captain_crook 17
That psychic has his own agenda... Probably. OP if she believes this bull crap and doesn't trust you, she's not worth your time.
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Comments (79)
nemracnosilla 3
Don't leave her over something so stupid, just cause you don't believe in mediums didn't mean she doesn't... Just explain to her nothing is happening.
mrnatthew386 7
I think maybe try and fix it.
gogoakira 7
dont let satans ruin your marriage
ForComments 1
If his wife doesn't have enough trust or respect for him to talk to him about her concerns before acting that way then perhaps its best he leave her. I don't understand the people attacking him and defending her stupidity.
gogoakira 7
it's because many people can be lured in and believe those witches who look in crystal balls, I mean do you wan't proof, people believe in horoscope, horoscope is a fatih or a religion, a false one at that, it isn't easy for them since they believe this nonsense to be true. so i am not defending her or him, i am just pointing out that there is a third party involved here
russfml 31
Well you may have dodged a bullet, I mean if she's that gullible
NamelessFace 22
If she suddenly hates you for no reason, give her a reason!