Today, I found out why my wife has been cold and distant lately. She went to a psycho fraudster - sorry, I mean "psychic medium" - who said I'm lusting after other women and am thinking about leaving her. She actually believed him. Now I'm considering leaving her for real. Well played, I guess. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife threatened to end our relationship if I didn't skip work and stay at home. She's into astrology, and apparently when one of those money-grubbing frauds writes, "Betrayal will come from someone close to you", it's reason enough to suspect that I'll cheat on her. FML
Today, my fiancée called our engagement off, because apparently she's actually a complete idiot who will believe anything that a slimy con artist tells her. In this case, a "psychic" who mumbled some shit about me having "a dark aura." FML
Today, I found out that my wife had been debating leaving me for an old boyfriend from high school. They rekindled their relationship on Facebook, and talking on the cell phone. Both things I insisted she have. FML
Today, I found out that my wife has been having an affair with the guy who's been trying to get our relationship back on track. FML
Today, my wife is leaving me for the guy she told me not to worry about, who is also her ex. FML
Today, my ex-wife called me crying that the man she left me for has lost interest in her, and all I could do was laugh. I could see from a mile away that he was just a player getting off on stealing someone's wife, but she was so moonstruck she actually believed he loved her. FML
Today, my wife faked being kidnapped. She composed a ransom letter and made calls from her phone screaming for help frantically and hanging up. I got the cops involved. Turns out it was all a scam, because she “wanted to see what I’d do” because apparently she “hasn’t been feeling loved” lately. FML
Today, desperate for some affection from my cold, frigid wife, I lied and said we had an attractive new girl joining our department. Without looking up, she said, "You guys can fuck, I don't care, just be discreet." Stick a fork in this marriage, it's done. FML
Today, my current wife left me for my ex-wife. FML
Today, I found out my wife of 19 years has been cheating on me. She told me that all the "cheating music" that she's been playing the last year and a half should've been a good enough hint. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Joshwarrior 39
Self fulfilling predictions are a bitch huh
captain_crook 17
That psychic has his own agenda... Probably. OP if she believes this bull crap and doesn't trust you, she's not worth your time.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (79)
Maggi_1997 15
Oh c'mon op. Maybe she'll forget about all that bullshit in a few days. Why jump to such drastic decisions? But for sure, there needs to be more trust and faith.
Crazycucumbers 8
I swear I've seen this exact comment multiple times on different fmls before
rebelbelle 17
could have been worse. You could have been married to a woman who doesn't think dinosaurs ever existed.
micassures_fml 19
I sincerely don't see the relevance of your comment... if she doesn't believe on dinosaurs, at least it doesn't affect in any way OP's marriage or the trust in their couple. I wouldn't love m'y husband/Bf less if so... I think OP considered his wife's suspicions as being really insulting and offensive.
bombielol 20
if she's going to put so little trust in your marriage then yeah I think it's time you second and guess her..
RobinGoodfellow 47
Get out. Get out while you can.
DjeePee 25
It seems to me that you both don't really want to put effort in your marriage....
Brandi_Faith 34
Yes. I agree.
cbearflippa91600 12
Wait, so that's all it takes for you to consider leaving her? What about reassuring her that it isn't true? But then again she wouldn't have so readily believed it if she was seeing something in your behavior. Were you thinking about leaving before the psychic said something?
drrobotnik1 18
if she's so stupid she believes in psychic powers, then you dodged a bullet, OP. hope you got a prenup!
lithiumassassin 10
You would really leave her for a dumbass reason like that?
ThePols 11
You mean, leave someone who constantly thinks you're cheating on them because a psychic told them so? That stupid reason? Yes. Definitely.
Astrum14 24
Normally I think all the people who rush to say "divorce/breakup" in any relationship related FML are jumping the gun. But seriously? If your wife is more willing to trust the word of a stranger and push you away because someone made up a bunch of bullshit about what you were thinking, I couldn't blame you for getting out of that circus as fast as possible.
vikky538 29
you made her dreams come true...