Today, my new boyfriend was at my flat for the first time. He picked up something in the bathroom and said 'What the hell's this?'. I told him what it was for, and he said 'You girls and your weird female products. Who needs all this stuff?'. It wasn't a female thing. It was shampoo. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out the crappy shampoo I've been borrowing from my girlfriend is actually "feminine wash." FML
Today, I noticed that my very expensive facial cleanser was almost out. I had moved in with my boyfriend recently, and questioned him, telling him "You don't have to use so much to wash your face. That's a $70 bottle." To which he responded, "Oh, that nice-smelling stuff? Yeah, I use that on my junk." FML
Today, my ex dropped by to pick up a piece of art he'd left when I threw him out a month ago. While here, he visited the restroom. Tonight, my shampoo smelled like urine. And he called at 11pm to say he'd ''rubbed one out'' on my new boyfriend's toothbrush. FML
Today, I got a text from my boyfriend whilst on the train home from spending the weekend with him at his grandparents' house. It said, "Gran says to tell you that the bin beside the toilet is actually for storing spare shampoos and toothbrushes, so could you not put your tampons in it next time?" FML
Today, I was about to leave for my honeymoon with my new husband, when he saw my deodorant in my bag. He picked it up and asked what it was. When I said it was deodorant, he gave me a confused look and said, "Girls don't wear deodorant." He actually believed that. FML
Today, I let my boyfriend sleep over at my house for the first time. Upon arriving, he tossed his stuff on the floor and said "I gotta take a piss, where's your shower?" FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend pees in the shower. This would've been OK if he was peeing into the drain. Instead, he pees on the shampoo and soap bottles. FML
Today, I discovered my new boyfriend doesn’t have toilet paper. He has a toilet cloth, which he instructed me to rinse off in the toilet after I was done. FML
Today, I found out that the reason I gave a girl "the ick" was something she saw in my bathroom. Was it a filthy sink, a massive skid mark, or some kind of bizarre sex toy? No, I use those blue toilet cleaner tablets and apparently that means I'm a "prissy princess". FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
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Top comments
QuantumLegend 0
Shampoo? We don't use shampoo, we use MANpoo.
rockr_chick 5
lol manpoo sounds like another name for shit.
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Comments (137)
kboy1234 0
lol dumb ass
milky953 0
did you ever think that he was taking about the brand of shampoo?
tulsafml 0
Yea only guys use shampoo. Smartass
toad396 0
yay who needs athows fancy things like shampo I just do a rinse cycle
ntherewas1 11
Let's hope he doesn't know what shampoo is because he uses soap =/ and not because he doesn't wash his hair.
Link5794 18
What if it was shampoo with conditioner and smelled like sunshine, rainbows, and estrogen? Would that be a "female thing"?
QuantumLegend 0
Shampoo? We don't use shampoo, we use MANpoo.
rockr_chick 5
lol manpoo sounds like another name for shit.
iSitt 0
Head&Shoulders ftw
emodude44 0
Man poo? Do you have some kind of gay scat fetish?
Adorlee 11
Lol exactly what 16 said, another word for shit. I'm pretty sure women aren't attracted to men who rubs shit on their head..
aguerassio 0
omg I was thinking that too! I can't stop laughing!
rallets 23
you'd be surprised what some women are into
mazzera_fml 7
golden shower
Starfire22 5
ahh good old copraphilia huh?
vsx2000goton 0
Lol 2, funniest comment I've seen in a while.
j_cat187 20
i clean my self wth shit 2
GPIGLVR 0
YUO USE CRAP???! OMG!!!!!!! :) lol
hobojo11 0
33 you are a lier my gf loves my crap cent its part of me man funk
gamerchick37 0
lol nice
dakins 0
men aren't full of shit..... their full of MANPOO... ew.
paprikacha 9
Sounds like a winner. -_-
wendyyyy 0
Haha
C6Racer 0
YDI for dating a dirty hobo.
Lustuu_fml 14
RIGHT Lmao
afdude87 6
show him what it's used for? shower time = fun time
bariforlife 0
lol haha agree!
skid123 0
well said :)
bharted85 7
win
SteelersBaby3 0
*LIKE
beastin34 0
epic win for him!!
TinyDude 10
apparently he doesnt shower too much lols
WOW_BS 0
Is "flat" another word for home? Children this generation are making up words everyday!
seventy5cent 0
"flat" means an apartment or small home in Europe, it really isn't a new term
fadingaway 17
It's English/South African for apartment. It could also be a small house in the back of someone's yard where you rent, although we tend to call that a granny flat, so OP probably means an apartment.
mintcar 10
WTF? As it has already been mentioned above, that word is not made up.
emariebake 0
lol. old Americans don't get that they only know one English.
lol32360 0
lol
Parkinglotk 0
....flat is the English term for apartment
jessicarenee88 0
not all americans are that ignorant so please stop stereotyping. i am an average american with an average education an average-sized vocabulary, and although i never use the term "flat" i knew exactly what op meant. im sorry but i feel like i need to stand up for some americans. its really a shame how dense the majority of us are, but i suppose its our own fault.
Exeedingmango 0
Shut it. We don't care.
Lull_lyre 0
no you idiot even my grandmother calls her apartment a flat
rockefoe 6
he must wash his hair with bar soap
im_awsome 2
lol oh wow show him what is for ;)