Today, I found out why my wife has been cold and distant lately. She went to a psycho fraudster - sorry, I mean "psychic medium" - who said I'm lusting after other women and am thinking about leaving her. She actually believed him. Now I'm considering leaving her for real. Well played, I guess. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my wife threatened to end our relationship if I didn't skip work and stay at home. She's into astrology, and apparently when one of those money-grubbing frauds writes, "Betrayal will come from someone close to you", it's reason enough to suspect that I'll cheat on her. FML
Today, my fiancée called our engagement off, because apparently she's actually a complete idiot who will believe anything that a slimy con artist tells her. In this case, a "psychic" who mumbled some shit about me having "a dark aura." FML
Today, I found out that my wife had been debating leaving me for an old boyfriend from high school. They rekindled their relationship on Facebook, and talking on the cell phone. Both things I insisted she have. FML
Today, I found out that my wife has been having an affair with the guy who's been trying to get our relationship back on track. FML
Today, my wife is leaving me for the guy she told me not to worry about, who is also her ex. FML
Today, my ex-wife called me crying that the man she left me for has lost interest in her, and all I could do was laugh. I could see from a mile away that he was just a player getting off on stealing someone's wife, but she was so moonstruck she actually believed he loved her. FML
Today, my wife faked being kidnapped. She composed a ransom letter and made calls from her phone screaming for help frantically and hanging up. I got the cops involved. Turns out it was all a scam, because she “wanted to see what I’d do” because apparently she “hasn’t been feeling loved” lately. FML
Today, desperate for some affection from my cold, frigid wife, I lied and said we had an attractive new girl joining our department. Without looking up, she said, "You guys can fuck, I don't care, just be discreet." Stick a fork in this marriage, it's done. FML
Today, my current wife left me for my ex-wife. FML
Today, I found out my wife of 19 years has been cheating on me. She told me that all the "cheating music" that she's been playing the last year and a half should've been a good enough hint. FML
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Top comments
Joshwarrior 39
Self fulfilling predictions are a bitch huh
captain_crook 17
That psychic has his own agenda... Probably. OP if she believes this bull crap and doesn't trust you, she's not worth your time.
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Comments (79)
ohSNAPyall 27
You want to divorce your wife because she's been insecure lately? This seems like a good reason for marriage counseling.
1dvos_grl3 21
Well OP, if you do that what makes you think that you're wife won't think that the psychic was right? I mean he already predicted that you would leave her..
RBW_Slave 9
OP's wife already thinks that the psychic was right. Apparently nothing will change her mind on that.
ericjprs 3
You would be the one proving her right... Smh
djstiv3 15
if she thinks that because of a psychic... yea well, shes crazy and you should end it.
dcats 13
Leave her now
onlymytwocents 9
She went to a psychic. You should leave her for that alone.
worldclassrager 41
I would think she would have been showing more affection to keep you with her
ihatedouchbags 17
YDI! That's not enough reason to leave someone! You're an ass (for considering leaving her for that reason) so YDI if she's being cold!
limabeans101029 21
63- OP's wife is being cold, distant, paranoid and distrusting of OP, simply because a "psychic" told her to. I think that's a pretty valid reason to leave someone.
MandieL 27
For better or for worse dude. People divorce for the stupidest reasons these days. Rather than try and fix the toaster, they throw it away and buy a new one. Your wife may be dense for believing the medium but that's not a good enough reason to leave her. Reassure her that she is the only one, try to work on your marriage to fix it, rather than throwing away all that time.
Shade1982 21
It's not just the fact that she believes in psychics. It's also the fact she apparently has so little trust in her husband, she apparently would rather believe a stranger, than your own husband.
Hitdadeck10 2
He is just trying to get laid