Today, I was in a public restroom. The guy in the urinal next to me was making loud sounds of discomfort. I ignored him and finished up. I turned around to be greeted by his red swollen beehive of a crotch, and him asking, "Is my penis supposed to look like this?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a guy started taking a leak beside me at the urinal. Evidently he figured he wasn't being enough of a cockbite, because he looked at my junk, laughed, "HAH!" then broke down into hysterics and totally lost control of his stream. I smell like piss. FML
Today, I was peeing at a urinal, when the man next to me finished up and shook his penis. I got splashed. FML
Today, while using a public toilet, a guy started pissing beside me at the urinal. The breach of bathroom etiquette then escalated to him taking a long look down at me and saying, "Nice sack, dude." followed by him finishing up and leaving without even washing his hands. FML
Today, at the urinal a guy came up next to me to do his business. He stared over at me, looked down, laughed and then left. FML
Today, while in a public restroom, a man entered the stall next to me and began vigorously wanking. He finished quickly, but as he was leaving he peeped in at me through the crack in the stall door. FML
Today, my friend whacked me in the family jewels while I was washing my hands in our college bathroom. While I lay writhing in pain on the floor, a guy at the urinal turned around towards me to see what was wrong. He was still peeing. FML
Today, in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. FML
Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML
Today, I was taking a dump in a public restroom. Minding my own business, I heard somebody go into an adjacent stall. It was dead silent and I don't think he knew I was in there. I thought I heard him scratching his arm or something. I was wrong. He was jacking off. I had to listen to it all. FML
Today, I used a public toilet. After I did my business in the stall and walked out, I was confronted by the sight of a man standing on tip-toes, holding his penis up to the automatic hand-dryer. Doubt I'll get that image out of my head any time soon. FML
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Top comments
Tyger44 1
"no,sir i think not.ER now"
Ikushka 3
No man and you aren't supposed to be asking me either
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Comments (148)
Jamicianprince 1
That's normal I do it all the time
ikickgingers 15
Glory hole gone wrong.
perdix 31
Good one! But in this economy, who can afford a sheet of drywall with a hole cut out of it? There are no Americans with the skill to place the right-sized hole at the right height, and we can't have some illegal alien do it, can we?
13FTW 9
That's the first time I've ever see one of perdix's comments thumbed down... I'm in complete and utter shock.
False_Stupidity 42
Probably used fiberglass for the gloryhole and that's where he went wrong...
stevenmx86 8
I would almost hit Ydi because you made this about you... Come on man, the guy's penis was swollen and red. Sure you had to see it but he has to deal with it..
BellaBelle_fml 23
True, however, it is kind of a YDI for the guy as well. He should have gotten that checked out and started treatment on it long before it got that bad.
lilcheekycheeks 9
cant believe he wouldnt know if he had something wrong with it lol. wat did he do grow a penis over night???
somewizdom 15
Thumbs up if the 2nd sentence of the FML cracked you up more than the end.
tweetypie 18
Thumbs up? This isn't YouTube...
NEEPLES 7
Well I know that if my dick is big and red there is something wrong with it.
frankwolf86 0
**** his life more likely...
Jorcar 8
Well that just doesn't sound good sound good.
bingababe 16
I see what you did there
wilsontws 18
Sounds like the start of a good **** movie.
seahawksfan900 11
Wtf kind of **** do you watch!!?
fredlax9 7
Herpees