Today, I was taking a dump in a public restroom. Minding my own business, I heard somebody go into an adjacent stall. It was dead silent and I don't think he knew I was in there. I thought I heard him scratching his arm or something. I was wrong. He was jacking off. I had to listen to it all. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while in a public restroom, a man entered the stall next to me and began vigorously wanking. He finished quickly, but as he was leaving he peeped in at me through the crack in the stall door. FML
Today, I was in a stall in a public restroom. Someone came in and started using one of the urinals. Somehow, before I knew it, I found I had just loudly whispered, "SOMEbody's taking a piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiss." FML
Today, I was in the restroom at work, snickering at some funny stories on my phone while I took a dump. Little did I know that the asshole in the next stall would report me to our boss, claiming he'd heard weird noises, then looked over the divider and witnessed me jacking off to porn. FML
Today, I walked into the bathroom at work, and in the stall next to me I could hear someone pleasuring himself. I decided to let my boss know what was going on, but it turns out that it was my boss in the stall next to me. FML
Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML
Today, while in a public restroom I could hear a guy having his way with his hand. He was quoting verses from the Bible. I was in a cubicle and he was at the urinal. I was too frightened to leave. This went on for a very long time. FML
Today, I was in a bathroom stall peeing. Shortly after, I heard a couple enter the bathroom, both extremely drunk. They then had sex standing up against the stall I was in, blocking my only exit. I had to sit, wait, and listen as both parties finished. FML
Today, I heard a man pleasuring himself in the stall next to me during my post lunch deuce. I was washing my hands when my boss walked out of the stall. I can no longer look at him in the face. FML
Today, my thigh was itchy, so I went into a bathroom stall to scratch it. I, for some reason, moaned out loud while doing it. After that, the men's bathroom went completely silent. FML
Today, I went into a public bathroom and walked in on a guy checking his butt out in the mirror to see if he'd wiped properly. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ilikeyouuu 0
I would have said, in an uber gay voice, "wanna do me next?!". lmao
Averizzle 0
Join him.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (156)
Averizzle 0
Join him.
azurablade 0
I like pie.
USAFchef 2
u should have farted really loud...hahaha
drunastunamazing 0
baha! if I were you I would have been like having fun in there buddy!? that's pretty funny!
scuba1722 0
ask if he needs a hand... or just fart loud as u can cough twice flush the toilet get up wash ur hands... crucial... then say don't force it and walk out... he will be in awkward moment
cliter_dick 2
yah he should have that would be reeaaalllyyy funny!!! how can you hear when someone is jacking off??
JCadle90 0
hit his stall and yell police
maa_rico 4
I would've faced off that guy to a Jack off
MXavierT 0
46 WIN
wooow_sucks_for_ 0
throw a to roll over your stall into his. or better yet, say in a ladylike voice "son?". ooooooooooorrrrr, pretend you're on the phone and say "yeah. hold on I cant hear you. some shitheads jacking off."
me199 0
Right when he finishes off... flush the toilet
soccer060 0
either #46 or hit the side of the stall and ask if he's got any extra paper
WhatANoob 0
it's more his FML you shouldve said in a gay voice "Heeeeeeyyy"
jazziloveberryy 3
lol #93
Extacy23 0
@maa_rico is that wat u and ur dad do?
MattJalac 0
LOL LOL
themajik 0
you should have started singing the cleanup song when he was done
Elmo8mehwaffles 0
Wdf? Why would u sit through that?? U obviously liked it...
BigLostBear 0
#46 wins, that surely wouldve caused him to rethink what he was doing, and the surprised look on his face when he's zipped up his pants and opens the door to see it's not an actual policeman Priceless!
hoopstar15 0
win!
HotpinkKitties 0
lmao @ 80
ChibiGirl5 0
21 win
lickmyjock 0
sweet how loud was his ******?
pimpyd1 0
first!
winterharte 0
Agreed with 5.. you fail.
kevick93 0
not even close
afarr 0
in the land of failures... he is the king, at least hes not 356th?
srammer99 0
lol that's wrong
Styna_fml 0
ouch, poor you!
sharpl916 0
that's why I never use public bathroom. Ewww
spiderman0606 0
To avoid creepos jacking off? That is the exact reasoning in mind when you decided not to use public washrooms?
Extacy23 0
@ #85. my exact reason for using public bathrooms is for the glory hole babÿ
xlostwithoutu 0
Haha WIN
RainbowGecko 0
thats kinda gay... lol oh well... i wouldnt mind finding a glory hole :D
lovezombie 0
Or you could have just finished pooping and left, you wouldn't have been the one stuck in an awkward situation, he would.
drunastunamazing 0
so true! never thought of that but he could have left but instead he stayed and listened so maybe he liked it! kidding! still u didn't have to stay.
Invioletlight 0
He was having a "Fap-fap attack".
paid2think 0
side by side!
Googoo27 12
Should've coughed.
Wasted_Elmo 6
he prolly heard u pull a silent fart and thought it was sexy to jerk off too
kpo216 0
yea he probably heard a silent fart... ******* idiot
peter55 0
haaha
givants 0
that's why I don't poop in public restrooms, f that