Today, the guy I've been crushing on for years and I finally went on a date. While on the date, he threw up in my purse and stuck tampons up his nose. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to the carnival with a guy I like. When we went on the big scary ride where you flip upside down a lot, he asked me to be his girlfriend. Then, I threw up on him. FML
Today, after having an amazing first date with my long time crush, we ended up going out to dinner. We shared a meal, and it was delicious! This would have been the ultimate dream come true... Except for the part about me throwing up in his car on the way back home. FML
Today, on my first date with a guy I really like, I threw up not once, not twice, but three times. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy I really liked. The date was going great until he decided to try flossing his teeth with my hair. FML
Today, I went on a date for the first time in months. Over dessert, my date told a joke, and I tittered vigorously, causing me to choke and throw up all over him. FML
Today, I finally made a move on the guy I've been crushing on for years… by getting so drunk that I puked in his lap. FML
Today, I went on a date with this really cute guy. We were walking in a park and decided to go on the swings. As I was swinging super high up, I threw up. FML
Today, I had a first date. We really hit it off and wound up watching movies together and talking late into the night. I ignored a developing migraine all night, then tried to leave hurriedly when it got bad. He stalled me leaving by asking what's wrong. I started vomiting. FML
Today, I went on a date with someone I really like. Midway through dinner, I felt something stuck in my teeth and, trying to be discreet, attempted to remove it. In the process, I flicked a piece of food across the table and it landed in his drink. He looked at it, then at me, then sighed. FML
Today. I went on a date with a really great guy. After the date we went to his place and had drinks in the hottub. I ended up shitting myself. FML
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Top comments
schwancy 2
Maybe on your next date he'll have explosive diarrhea.
p4r4d0x_fml 0
"Uhm, Wayne? What do you do if every time you see this one incredible woman, you think you're gonna hurl?" "I say hurl. If you blow chunks and she comes back, she's yours. But if you spew and she bolts, then it was never meant to be."
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Comments (77)
shutterbug2947 7
Unless he was intoxicated, I seriously doubt this happened. I know absolutely no one who would do that, and I know some pretty wierd people.
robc32ca 4
what's his name I know someone he'd be perfect for!
amayasoma 19
What happened was: He was terrible ill and knowing that he was going to make it to the bathroom, grabbed you purse and let loose inside. He then tried to get up from his chair to the bathroom but because he was horrible ill, he tripped falling catching his nose on the edge of the table hard then hitting the floor face first. thus, getting a nasty nose bleed. He then took your tampons to absorb the blood from his nose since they were the best absorbances around. :)
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Tampons covered in barf are just what I'd want during a severe nosebleed.
Mons_fml 27
well maby he smashed his head first and started bleeding THEN puked cuz he had smashed hes face shit for brains
soxboy15 1
Maybe he had a nose bleed.
BadKitty13 28
What a Jerk. And you are an IDIOT. No sympathy here hon,
Steve95401 49
What will he do for a follow-up?
EVOEVO_Monkey 10
I hope he suck the tampons in first before he threw up cos who wants vomit in their nose? ;)
skyiscool 0
that's a movie plot. I love you beth Cooper
Jmykel 0
LMAFO yeah thats an FML
lostinmymind121 0
You went on a date with Steve-O??