Today, the guy I've been crushing on for years and I finally went on a date. While on the date, he threw up in my purse and stuck tampons up his nose. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to the carnival with a guy I like. When we went on the big scary ride where you flip upside down a lot, he asked me to be his girlfriend. Then, I threw up on him. FML
Today, after having an amazing first date with my long time crush, we ended up going out to dinner. We shared a meal, and it was delicious! This would have been the ultimate dream come true... Except for the part about me throwing up in his car on the way back home. FML
Today, on my first date with a guy I really like, I threw up not once, not twice, but three times. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy I really liked. The date was going great until he decided to try flossing his teeth with my hair. FML
Today, I went on a date for the first time in months. Over dessert, my date told a joke, and I tittered vigorously, causing me to choke and throw up all over him. FML
Today, I finally made a move on the guy I've been crushing on for years… by getting so drunk that I puked in his lap. FML
Today, I went on a date with this really cute guy. We were walking in a park and decided to go on the swings. As I was swinging super high up, I threw up. FML
Today, I had a first date. We really hit it off and wound up watching movies together and talking late into the night. I ignored a developing migraine all night, then tried to leave hurriedly when it got bad. He stalled me leaving by asking what's wrong. I started vomiting. FML
Today, I went on a date with someone I really like. Midway through dinner, I felt something stuck in my teeth and, trying to be discreet, attempted to remove it. In the process, I flicked a piece of food across the table and it landed in his drink. He looked at it, then at me, then sighed. FML
Today. I went on a date with a really great guy. After the date we went to his place and had drinks in the hottub. I ended up shitting myself. FML
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Top comments
schwancy 2
Maybe on your next date he'll have explosive diarrhea.
p4r4d0x_fml 0
"Uhm, Wayne? What do you do if every time you see this one incredible woman, you think you're gonna hurl?" "I say hurl. If you blow chunks and she comes back, she's yours. But if you spew and she bolts, then it was never meant to be."
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Comments (77)
RedPillSucks 33
OP; Your love life is where fantasy meets reality, and reality kicks fantasy right in the nuts.
mikey0505 0
he's a keeper you should have farted
britasif27 5
eww I would make a big ol deal about and be like omg you owe me new purse and everything I'm never dating you again and I'm gonna let everyone know why! hahaha
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Way to pick 'em, Champ.
BethiiGeex 0
yumm.
mars21 0
Isn't thiss frm ilove you beth cooper ?
Star18lk 0
He's a keeper. XD
Sw33t_Candiee 0
aww, it sux wen they don't live up to your expectations =/
thatoneguy14 0
fake.
mad2physicist 0
Better to find out on a first date than after you get married or something.