Today, after having an amazing first date with my long time crush, we ended up going out to dinner. We shared a meal, and it was delicious! This would have been the ultimate dream come true... Except for the part about me throwing up in his car on the way back home. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had one of the worst first dates of my life. After leaving the restaurant early, we went to a party to try and salvage the night. My date then got wasted, ended up puking in the back seat of my car on the way home, then lied about it. My night ended with me cleaning vomit out of my car. FML
Today, the guy I've been crushing on for years and I finally went on a date. While on the date, he threw up in my purse and stuck tampons up his nose. FML
Today, I had a first date. We really hit it off and wound up watching movies together and talking late into the night. I ignored a developing migraine all night, then tried to leave hurriedly when it got bad. He stalled me leaving by asking what's wrong. I started vomiting. FML
Today, I hung out with my crush for only the second time at his apartment. He was having a party. After a few sips of my green apple Smirnoff, I puked up the chinese food I had eaten earlier all over his new couch in front of him and a bunch of people I didn't know. FML
Today, on my first date with a guy I really like, I threw up not once, not twice, but three times. FML
Today, I was on a date with a guy I've been crushing on. In the middle of the dinner, he said he had to go get something from his car. When I asked what it was, he smiled and said it was a surprise. I waited for my surprise for half an hour. Then I decided to pay the bill and go home and cry. FML
Today, I went on a date, and everything was going fine - until the ride home. On the way, I starting having progressively bad stomach pains. Once she left the car, I passed the worst gas that I had ever encountered. As I began to leave, she knocked on the window. She forgot her purse in the car. FML
Today, the girl I’ve been trying to date not only agreed to a date, she invited me back to her place because the date went so well. We were kissing so hard, I struggled to breathe, I coughed, gagged, then vomited my seafood dinner all over her yellow sofa. It all went downhill from there. FML
Today, I went on a date for the first time in months. Over dessert, my date told a joke, and I tittered vigorously, causing me to choke and throw up all over him. FML
Today, I finally got the courage to go on a first date with this guy I had a crush on for months. It was such a big deal for me cause it was my first date ever. The first thing he says when we met was, "I have to take a dump." I sat by myself for 10 minutes. FML
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Top comments
Mightyrif 23
If he is as amazing as the date was he should forgive and forget. Heck it would be a funny story to tell your potential spawn.
Sandsh8rk 36
As annoying as vomit is to clean up, your date shouldn't hold it against you - I'm hoping he was sympathetic and helped to look after you. :)
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Comments (21)
Mightyrif 23
If he is as amazing as the date was he should forgive and forget. Heck it would be a funny story to tell your potential spawn.
Jatok 17
I'd just like to clarify that the main reason i upvoted this is because you called children spawn. Made my day
tiptoppc 21
You mean crotch goblins. That’s what I’m going to call my kids..
Sandsh8rk 36
As annoying as vomit is to clean up, your date shouldn't hold it against you - I'm hoping he was sympathetic and helped to look after you. :)
emeraldarcher74 30
On the bright side, you had a great first date, with no hate. You ate a good meal at night, late. I would rate that eight out of eight. Good job, mate.
JohnTheDonJuan 11
I'd give it a 5/7. perfect score!
mfmylifesrsly 30
I understand it's embarrassing but if he really cares for you it won't really bother him. When my sister and her husband went on their second date he got food poisoning and threw up on her. They've been together almost 10 years now and married for 3.
charliewhippet 9
But it will make such a cute story when you get married! :-D
species4872 20
Arm wrestle to see who would clean it up.
montsecc 8
He won't call you again XD
Lalala579121 28
If he doesn't call again then at least OP knows he's an asshole and isn't worth her time.
blairiofosterio1 10
Did you eat a whole jar of mayo perchance?
cjcj11 6
???
J352SAURUS 30
Previous FML...
SargeRho 6
If he doesn't call you, definitely call him. He might feel awkward about it, but if the date went this well, he'll surely forgive and forget. At least, I would.
Nova297 23
My boyfriend of two years now threw up on our first date after eating at Olive Garden, maybe it's a good omen :D