Today, I went on a date with a guy I really liked. The date was going great until he decided to try flossing his teeth with my hair. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went on a date with someone I really like. Midway through dinner, I felt something stuck in my teeth and, trying to be discreet, attempted to remove it. In the process, I flicked a piece of food across the table and it landed in his drink. He looked at it, then at me, then sighed. FML
Today, the guy I've been crushing on for years and I finally went on a date. While on the date, he threw up in my purse and stuck tampons up his nose. FML
Today, I went to a restaurant for a second date. As we were eating, a piece of food got stuck in my teeth. I tried to discreetly remove it, but ended up spitting it across the table and onto my date's glasses. FML
Today, I rushed out of the bathroom with toothpaste smeared all over my chin and cheek. I was so anxious about going on a date that I didn’t realize this until said date pointed it out halfway through dinner. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. My date turned out to be very hot, and I had high hopes. That is, until she ran her hand through her hair as she approached, sending some kind of horrifying, miasmic mist of dandruff and dead skin floating through the air behind her. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy that I really like. At the last minute he informed me a friend would be tagging along. To keep his friend from being a third-wheel, I kept up a conversation, and managed to piss my date off. He thought I would be a better match for his friend. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were kissing. Halfway through the kiss, he rubs his tongue along all my teeth and says, "You need to brush your teeth." FML
Today, I went on a date with someone I considered a real catch, my potential soulmate even. He ended up telling me about his fetish for "female smells", sang loudly in Italian in a crowded restaurant, and ate most of the food on my plate. Man, fuck dating. FML
Today, I watched my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when I asked him to go brush his teeth, since his breath stank. He went back to playing video games. FML
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Top comments
SamanthaNGoree 10
Was the hair still attached to your head when he tried to floss?
Dashelle 25
What a weirdo.
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Comments (65)
Nick_Le_Geek 10
Maybe he needed to floss?
TheCanucklehead 22
Next time he can floss with her fist
Gothicbunnyx3 16
Because flossing with hair on a date is totally normal. If he's that desperate he should've brought floss and gone to the restroom.
\ 28
They used to sell these quarter-sized tins of dental floss you could carry in your pocket... BUT not anymore. The corporate brains have shrunk.
Dashelle 25
What a weirdo.
imyy 20
Or maybe she just needs to trim a bit down there so it doesn't get stuck in his teeth ;-)
Misswildsides 22
The FML specifically says he "tried to floss with my hair" not "my hair got stuck in his teeth."
\ 28
G
sierraaaa 15
That's weird but it could have been a lot weirder. maybe he thought you guys were close enough to be silly together..although thats definitely crossing the line. better luck next time OP!
CallMeMcFeelii 14
That'd be like some girl wiping food off her mouth with my beard. I don't care how close to a girl I am, you don't use my damn beard as a napkin. Some people just don't have any manners, and this guy seems like one. If you decide to go out again, buy the bastard some floss.
SamanthaNGoree 10
Was the hair still attached to your head when he tried to floss?
Gothicbunnyx3 16
This FML just got 1000x more disgusting if it wasn't pulled out
berichsoon 11
4- I don't that makes that much of a difference.
berichsoon 11
I don't THINK*
SamanthaNGoree 10
45- it's disgusting either way. It would be funnier to picture if the hair were still attached.
soullyfe 33
#50: ...I actually pictured the hair still attached to her head after reading.
illegalbeagle69 23
Yeah, me too! I pictured a nice romantic dinner, joking and laughing, and he stands up behind her bends down, and flosses with her hair... 50 shades of grey.. hair coloring..?
HowieDoIt 21
Clearly you don't #48
bompie 5
That's disgusting
supergirl78 5
Wow that sucks. Hopefully there's no second date
ohsnapcrackers 6
Since she used "liked" I don't think there will be
naznafeathers 22
At least he was able to save on dental floss? :p
VancouverGuy89 9
At least he didn't try to blow his nose on you
Wizardo 34
You have got to be keratin me, that's pretty unsanitary. I hope you got the hair out of there.
botanistjessica 24
I think those were just a little far out there, dear.
megstiel 16
The hair one was okay but keratin? No.
backwoodsartdiva 14
Well, that situation was a little hair raising.