Username
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Classy
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when he sweetly whispered in my ear, "It's not gonna suck itself." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Calgary, Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML
miiiiilk
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Superfuzz Big Muff
Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML
Bllllaaaaaah
Juno, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Wax on, wax off
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. At one point, he started to kiss my ear. Then, he stopped, went into the bathroom, and came out with about four Q-tips. He then said to me, "Just take care of your ears, then I'll continue." FML
during
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Narcissism
Today, while me and my boyfriend were having sex, he moaned out his own name. FML
dummy
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML
Anonymous
Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Today, after going down on my boyfriend, we were cuddling and I went to kiss him. Just before I could reach his lips, he ran his finger over my mouth and whispered, "S-s-s-semen." FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
katie
🌶️ Spicy
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML
Sharibabi65
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I told my fiancé I wanted to hear something romantic. He said, "My dick loves your mouth." I guess that's as good as it's going to get. FML
S. Dub
🌶️ Spicy
Acting is hard work
Today, my boyfriend told me that I needed to moan louder so that he knew I was enjoying it. Reluctantly, I put a little 'umph' into my moans during the next round. He pulled out and said, "It's just awkward now." FML
Top comments
Fx13mz 7
I'm stealing that line from him.
ambowew 7
Time to point to his hand and say 'no, but you're gonna be shaking it yourself tonight.'
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Comments (309)
PeteyPablo12308 20
How utterly romantic.
luvppl 6
this reminds me of Shane dawson's video "Douchebag" because one line is "this dick ain't gonna suck itself, son!" lolol
franticravyn 7
shane dawson
rdvfyubuyg 1
ah Shane Dawson, my role model
OreoLovesFez 0
ahhh I was about to comment that. Poo... your falling for a douchebag doucheba-ag, D BAG D bop bop D BAG D bop bop. :D
CrazyGirl445 4
oh shane(:
jennifer93 0
wow he sounds like a keeper :p
ToyotaObsession 1
that line is so old. I can't believe people haven't heard it.
cryonized321 0
well he did state the obvious.
wsquah 4
ur boyfriend is awesome!
kkmwong 11
I would be turned on.
ChelseaRaeS 7
"This dick ain't gonna suck itself son!" - Shane Dawson video. lol
cobson 1
The line is from a film, some annoying unoriginal ****** from YouTube didn't come up with it. :)
cobson 1
The line is from a film, some annoying unoriginal homosexual from YouTube didn't come up with it. :)
eftup 9
suck it! slurp it!
emmiep1011 7
it doesn't...