Username
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Classy
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when he sweetly whispered in my ear, "It's not gonna suck itself." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Calgary, Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML
miiiiilk
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Superfuzz Big Muff
Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML
Bllllaaaaaah
Juno, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Wax on, wax off
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. At one point, he started to kiss my ear. Then, he stopped, went into the bathroom, and came out with about four Q-tips. He then said to me, "Just take care of your ears, then I'll continue." FML
during
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Narcissism
Today, while me and my boyfriend were having sex, he moaned out his own name. FML
dummy
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML
Anonymous
Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Today, after going down on my boyfriend, we were cuddling and I went to kiss him. Just before I could reach his lips, he ran his finger over my mouth and whispered, "S-s-s-semen." FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
katie
🌶️ Spicy
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML
Sharibabi65
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I told my fiancé I wanted to hear something romantic. He said, "My dick loves your mouth." I guess that's as good as it's going to get. FML
S. Dub
🌶️ Spicy
Acting is hard work
Today, my boyfriend told me that I needed to moan louder so that he knew I was enjoying it. Reluctantly, I put a little 'umph' into my moans during the next round. He pulled out and said, "It's just awkward now." FML
Top comments
Fx13mz 7
I'm stealing that line from him.
ambowew 7
Time to point to his hand and say 'no, but you're gonna be shaking it yourself tonight.'
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Comments (309)
mustardcat 1
Hahaa I'm gonna use that line too!!
durty 0
lol he's a foo..
MeConut 3
...food? ...foot?
spoilt_ 15
he's right, get to it!
Brownstonius 0
He speaks the truth!
barbiiee_fml 0
tell him "well its not going to lick itself either." Haha! I like his ways.
rhysfucker 24
exactly. ladies first, kwim?
Yung23 0
damm barbie
iamsophie 13
I've got to remember that one. Hubby's always saying something like that to me! How romantic...
ChiddyBANGr 13
*Hands him a straw* "Knock yourself out"
indistructo 3
its the truth...
misstamz 0
Whisper back 'auto-fellatio'
LuxAeterna_fml 0
I'm ugly.
txtrphyhnter 0
51 your an ass
mk58 31
51, you're deranged. That kitten is cute enough for you to spontaneously combust from its cuteness when you encounter it face to face.
dotmyg0t 0
RULE ZERO: Don't **** with cats.
kaoss54 3
the guy has a point lol
skeetNyoEYEhoe 0
This reminds me of American Pie when this f@kkn guy says, "suck me, beautiful". Hahahaha. You should have bit tht ish MAD hard.
BBoureaux 8
... what?