Username
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Classy
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when he sweetly whispered in my ear, "It's not gonna suck itself." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Calgary, Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML
miiiiilk
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Superfuzz Big Muff
Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML
Bllllaaaaaah
Juno, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Wax on, wax off
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. At one point, he started to kiss my ear. Then, he stopped, went into the bathroom, and came out with about four Q-tips. He then said to me, "Just take care of your ears, then I'll continue." FML
during
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Narcissism
Today, while me and my boyfriend were having sex, he moaned out his own name. FML
dummy
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML
Anonymous
Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Today, after going down on my boyfriend, we were cuddling and I went to kiss him. Just before I could reach his lips, he ran his finger over my mouth and whispered, "S-s-s-semen." FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
katie
🌶️ Spicy
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML
Sharibabi65
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I told my fiancé I wanted to hear something romantic. He said, "My dick loves your mouth." I guess that's as good as it's going to get. FML
S. Dub
🌶️ Spicy
Acting is hard work
Today, my boyfriend told me that I needed to moan louder so that he knew I was enjoying it. Reluctantly, I put a little 'umph' into my moans during the next round. He pulled out and said, "It's just awkward now." FML
Top comments
Fx13mz 7
I'm stealing that line from him.
ambowew 7
Time to point to his hand and say 'no, but you're gonna be shaking it yourself tonight.'
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Comments (309)
neoamaru_fml 8
he's a Genius..there's a spot for him here in the bros club ;)
mismonroe 0
lmao
mismonroe 0
Virgin? Where did that come from? Did I miss something?
SpazzyJazzy325 0
aha that's a man who knows what he wants right there ;)
mismonroe 0
That's funny, I thought it was lick it before you stick it.
blo1983 0
you have yahoo messenger?
Sophail 0
hahahah best comment of love ever.
dookiedoo 0
pussy
Osito2011 9
straight to the point. awesome
MaryJane09 0
Haha.... That sucks!
epyk_pryncess 8
he's right. but I hear the dyson ball is an AMAZING vacuum... no?