Today, I hung out with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. We were cuddling on the couch when he suddenly stands up. I thought he was going to hug me, but then he turned around, pinned my shoulders back so I couldn't move, and farted in my face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, I was seeing my boyfriend for the first time in 3 weeks. I was so excited to see him that I gave him a big hug. He must have been excited to see me too, because he hugged me so tight that he squeezed a fart out of me. FML
Today, my fiancé hugged me so tight that I couldn't move, said he loved me, let out a loud, obnoxious and smelly fart cloud and made me breathe it in. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time and we were alone. He was being super romantic and snuggling with me, and then out of nowhere he let out the biggest fart I've ever heard. He then explained how I should try to compete with it. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
Today, I realized that the only time my boyfriend ever wants to hug me is just after he's let off a fart and wants to pull me into it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were play wrestling. I had pinned him down and was sitting on his chest when he suddenly squeezed my stomach, causing me to rip the loudest fart ever. He looked so shocked that I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed so hard that I accidentally peed on him as well. FML
Today, my boyfriend of six months said he wanted to take our relationship one step further. I thought he was going to ask me to move in. He meant he wanted to fart in front of me. FML
Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as I walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML
Today, I finally felt comfortable enough to fart in front of my boyfriend for the first time. He went quiet, got up and left in his car. I haven't heard from him in 4 hours. FML
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Top comments
AngryNinja 1
that is uncalled for. I hope you left.
chih 0
I hope you smack the shit out of him. Get it? butt jokes...
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Comments (215)
xlovelessx 0
guy will be guys u guess. =_= my brother does the same to me when in sitting on my couch
LforLove 0
at least he didn't end up having the hershey squirts
CIgano_fml 0
bam right in the kisser
purpleisacolor 0
i thought it was pow - right in the kisser. o well. hahaha op quit bitching let the guy have his fun, he didnt mean any harm
OrangeSlush 0
eeewww!!! hahaha!!
chocolatmilklovr 0
if you took it as a joke, don't do anything, but if you don't like tht, tell him. if he's done it before and you told him to stop, break up with him.
applesmoothiee 2
Well that's just dandy.
ThatOneAdamKid24 0
okay for everyone saying dump him that's a little extreme. guys are just weird and gross and impulsive like that. I wouldn't do something like that but lot of guys do. it's just how we are. OP you should just laugh it off and jokingly hit him. if you really like him you should accept him for his quirks. just tell him farting directly in your face is a little over the line.
EwigStolz 0
Thank you Dr. Phil. I ******* love the relationship advice on this website. Now I know where to go for when my girl asks me to Chili Dog and then motor boat!
ThatOneAdamKid24 0
Why do you have to be such an asshole?
lostfaithinpppl 19
YDI for dating an idiot.
dustbunny10 0
ROFLMFAO! sorry but that's just too funny!!! FYL though!
ccc01 1
Classic to those who say he is an asshole he isn't he just uses one :)