Today, I hung out with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. We were cuddling on the couch when he suddenly stands up. I thought he was going to hug me, but then he turned around, pinned my shoulders back so I couldn't move, and farted in my face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, I was seeing my boyfriend for the first time in 3 weeks. I was so excited to see him that I gave him a big hug. He must have been excited to see me too, because he hugged me so tight that he squeezed a fart out of me. FML
Today, my fiancé hugged me so tight that I couldn't move, said he loved me, let out a loud, obnoxious and smelly fart cloud and made me breathe it in. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time and we were alone. He was being super romantic and snuggling with me, and then out of nowhere he let out the biggest fart I've ever heard. He then explained how I should try to compete with it. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
Today, I realized that the only time my boyfriend ever wants to hug me is just after he's let off a fart and wants to pull me into it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were play wrestling. I had pinned him down and was sitting on his chest when he suddenly squeezed my stomach, causing me to rip the loudest fart ever. He looked so shocked that I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed so hard that I accidentally peed on him as well. FML
Today, my boyfriend of six months said he wanted to take our relationship one step further. I thought he was going to ask me to move in. He meant he wanted to fart in front of me. FML
Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as I walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML
Today, I finally felt comfortable enough to fart in front of my boyfriend for the first time. He went quiet, got up and left in his car. I haven't heard from him in 4 hours. FML
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Top comments
AngryNinja 1
that is uncalled for. I hope you left.
chih 0
I hope you smack the shit out of him. Get it? butt jokes...
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Comments (215)
serenader 2
I can't figure out how he turned around to plant his butt in your face and still managed to pin your shoulders back...
AGGoddess 2
His legs could have been pinning her arms down.
serenader 2
she said he stood up and turned around...so pinning her shoulders would have been physically impossible
theeBeezWaXx 0
so not effing cool.
FYLD0UCHE_fml 0
How did he pin your shoulders back and fart in your face? His ass would've been facing away from you, which is just a fart and not face fart.
scarletlily_fml 3
Is your boyfriend 9 years old? I'd dump the sorry, immature ass. No pun intended.
iamelrebel 0
I wouldn't say dump him, but it is disgusting. just get mad and don't put out for a week or so.
idkweird 0
This! Im sure guys would love to be perioded on! Or y'know, smack them in the face with a used tampon!
crystalmethod 0
He deserves a high five!
uxoriouswidow 0
For being a moron?
devilishD 0
bulls$
Riddle2427 0
im not the biggest person ever he more so sat on me and leaned back with his arms and legs, and sorry ladies I've been dating him for 5 years and dumping him is a bit extreme, I did get my revenge in a less crude way ;) it was all in good (disgusting) fun :p
idkweird 0
eww :/ Sorry. I still just find it so gross!
GreenRupee 0
Don't take the "dump him" seriously. He sees you as a friend, and that's probably the best sort of relationship you can have there ;P On another note: HUMANITY
Rota 0
Aww, that's love. lolz at all the man hating feminazis as well. I hope you all die in a fire.