Today, a white guy tried to teach me to use chopsticks properly. I'm Chinese and have been using them since I could eat. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was eager to learn how to use chopsticks, as I was in a nice Chinese restaurant and had ordered noodles. As I was visibly struggling to eat, the server brought me a fork. When I reached for it, I flicked a noodle into a lady's soup at the next table. FML
Today, I learned that my aunt, who lives with us, is using our chopsticks in her hair and putting them back in the utensil drawer without washing them. I'm the one that uses chopsticks the most. FML
Today, I was eating at a Chinese restaurant, when I stopped the waitress to tell her that even though I am of Chinese heritage, I can't understand a word of Chinese. After an awkward silence, she told me she was actually speaking English. FML
Today, I was asked to prove that I was Chinese by translating the phrase, "Ching chong ming chang ho". I'm not even Chinese. FML
Today, my school is having a mandatory class on etiquette. We've just now progressed onto forks after a long, tedious discussion on spoons. FML
Today, at a tutoring center, one of the tutors looked at my worksheet and laughed. She then showed all the other tutors my mistakes and they laughed along with her. The best part? They all speak Chinese and they think I can't understand them. I'm Chinese. FML
Today, I was on a first date with a gorgeous and seemingly fun woman. After ordering, she pulled some plastic utensils from her purse. She then explained, “I always carry my own because I don’t want to get a fork a black person may have used before me.” I got up and left without a word. FML
Today, a customer called me "chink eyes", "dog eater", "bloody Chinese communist" and "ching chong." I'm black. FML
Today, I took a girl to a sushi restaurant for our first date. She insisted she's had sushi before, but I had to watch her struggle with the chopsticks for a few minutes before mercifully asking the waitress for a fork. She then ate a fork full of wasabi, thinking it was guacamole. I think there won't be a second date. FML
Today, I went to a Japanese restaurant. While the chef was throwing food at us, I was getting ready for my turn. He tossed a piece of broccoli at me, I leaned back to catch it, completely falling off my chair. I knocked everything over and had the packed restaurant laughing at me. FML
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Top comments
summerloolooloo 0
Poke his eyeball with it and tell him you know how to use them just fine.
CallMeHush 1
Can you catch a fly with them?
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Comments (173)
JakeH6363 3
What a SPASTIC!!! D:
summerloolooloo 0
Poke his eyeball with it and tell him you know how to use them just fine.
Cthulu 0
It made me laugh...
LeoMaro 1
Lolol. Don't worry about it. I'm the same way. Whenever I used chopsticks, I always use them different and my parents never corrected me. It's not our fault we were raised in American culture.
tom9686 0
harden up its called a fork its what us white people use
joshhh11 0
Your comment isn't wanted, now if you wouldn't mind, please **** off :)
summerloolooloo 0
Right back at you. ;)
Mustardnight 3
Three is true for you too.
cowgod 0
no. OP should have taken it like the bitch he is. he's a disgrace to china.
PwnerJohn 0
^ ... the ****? maybe the white man does it wrong.
froggi_fml 0
this isn't really an fml... more like an f my day.
AngryNinja 1
we need fmd posts and fml posts. a lot of fmls are only fmds.
serfis 0
ugh really? Jesus Christ. FML doesn't mean that your life is F'ed/ruined, it's just an expression.
Chuzza 2
From the official FAQ: "Fmylife.com contains a daily dose of short anecdotes, based on a simple recipe: in a few sentences, users can tell everyone the shitty moment which ruined their day." Their DAY.
ElMundio87 0
you'd be surprised at the amount of people I see that hold their fork wrong, like a chimp
CallMeHush 1
Can you catch a fly with them?
gunnar7240 0
that would be sweet.
athena3100 9
Ahh Daniel son... one who can catch fly can acomplish anything. I love the karate kid.
winfieldALJD 6
Because of you can't, you're not using them properly.
s0l0d0l0 0
thats tru azn skills right there 8
Louis56_fml 0
U r a racist little kid now aren't ya?!
ElMundio87 0
damn 鬼佬
x_HELLo_tHERE_x 0
I know I'll sound very dumb for asking this, but oh well. What do those two symbols mean?
JFry 0
Shuo "Lao wai", shi bu shi??
velvel 7
that's "gui lao", which is slang for white folks. used to be derogatory, but not so much anymore!
d_ele 0
Haha dui a!!
vasidem 0
bahahahha funny (:
rider12 0
why would u not tell him to go away as if
Eddie_Paints 0
He's probably trying to fulfill some Anime fantasy he's been carrying around for a while!