Today, I hung out with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. We were cuddling on the couch when he suddenly stands up. I thought he was going to hug me, but then he turned around, pinned my shoulders back so I couldn't move, and farted in my face. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, I was seeing my boyfriend for the first time in 3 weeks. I was so excited to see him that I gave him a big hug. He must have been excited to see me too, because he hugged me so tight that he squeezed a fart out of me. FML
Today, my fiancé hugged me so tight that I couldn't move, said he loved me, let out a loud, obnoxious and smelly fart cloud and made me breathe it in. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time and we were alone. He was being super romantic and snuggling with me, and then out of nowhere he let out the biggest fart I've ever heard. He then explained how I should try to compete with it. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
Today, I realized that the only time my boyfriend ever wants to hug me is just after he's let off a fart and wants to pull me into it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were play wrestling. I had pinned him down and was sitting on his chest when he suddenly squeezed my stomach, causing me to rip the loudest fart ever. He looked so shocked that I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed so hard that I accidentally peed on him as well. FML
Today, my boyfriend of six months said he wanted to take our relationship one step further. I thought he was going to ask me to move in. He meant he wanted to fart in front of me. FML
Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as I walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML
Today, I finally felt comfortable enough to fart in front of my boyfriend for the first time. He went quiet, got up and left in his car. I haven't heard from him in 4 hours. FML
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Top comments
AngryNinja 1
that is uncalled for. I hope you left.
chih 0
I hope you smack the shit out of him. Get it? butt jokes...
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Comments (215)
Beagle96 0
WTF people are just messed up in the head.
4toestatue 7
ahhh what's more romantic than a hot body gas inhaled directly from the anus?
kombucha_fml 8
L E A V E H I M
Cptn_Oblivious 0
This is best said in afrikaans: Moer hom! - i think you'll get the gist ;]
jayjay777 0
I farted... haha, Austin Powers references... your life definitely sucks. I hope he somehow meant that in a nice way.
noshitsherlock 0
That is disgusting and not funny. I would dump his loser ass, if I were you.
skyeyez9 25
fart in a can of Pringles, quickly close the lid and offer him some.
Shims_Babe007 0
That is absolutely barbaric!
Squit_fml 16
That is one awesome dude. You should be proud of him.
UberFail79 0
So, throughout my childhood, my older brother was actually saying, "I own you"?