Today, I tried for the first time putting a condom on my boyfriend using my mouth. I freaked out, swallowed, and started choking on the condom. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tried to be sexy and put a condom on with my mouth. Instead, I inhaled it and my boyfriend broke three of my ribs giving me the Heimlich maneuver. FML
Today, I decided to practice putting a condom on with my mouth. Then my roommate walked in on me using my mouth to roll a condom onto a banana. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try flavored condoms. I guess I enjoyed them a little too much; I almost choked half to death on a strawberry cockcicle. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend and he ejaculated without warning, shooting straight up my nostril. I accidentally snorted it, started choking, and then coughed it up in my mouth. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate for the first time. He was sucking on my boob, everything was going good. He suddenly stopped and started choking really bad. He thought milk was coming out. Turns out, it was just his gum. The moment was ruined. FML
Today, after having sex with my girlfriend, I jokingly held the condom above my mouth. Somehow, the condom busted, and everything went over my face. Worse still, we're now wondering just how safe this condom really was. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. As I started getting close to having my first ever orgasm, I got extremely short of breath and started hyperventilating. His reaction was to cover my mouth to shut me up. FML
Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML
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Top comments
jimmyweee 0
Ha, you swallowed the wrong thing.
BlackWolfVII 0
Should've practiced on a banana first. Girls. *Facepalm*
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Comments (217)
eminemlvr 0
thats a dumb thing to do, your teeth could tear the condom then putting it on would be pointless!
Antonio718 0
Did you also choke on something else later on? (Dammit 7 you took mine lol)
Bloodrush 0
#15 the best comment so far....i lolled
lilcuti3pi389 0
mm thats unfortunate. why would u use ur teeth, yea that would be dumb.. how about if she would have placed it correctly on the tip and then use her lips to slide it down? lol idk ive never tried that but im just saying, it might work hahaha in case you ever wanna try againnn lmao i dont think it was a stupid idea tho, you were trying to be freakyyy, which is gooood ;)
rainbowvomitwhat 0
i love you 7
banan 0
# 15 ahahahahahahahah that is the best lmao!
bella_brasil 0
WTF?
sictransit_rosie 0
AHAHAH #22 sooo true
genius_man16 1
I don't really get it, why would you freak out? You knew what you were doing.... right?
bahahaha 0
WAIT can we all yell at #58? i mean; LOOK AT THEIR DAMN COMMENT PEOPLE and 15 fails. oh yeah and 58