Today, I was bored and started touching myself watching TV. My mother walked into my bedroom with a phone in her hand and yelled, "Stop jacking off and talk to your grandmother." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was watching TV with my grandpa, and he stopped flipping channels on a movie with a hot naked chick getting oiled down. Suddenly the remote landed on my stomach as my mom and grandma walked in. They yelled at me for being a pervert, while my grandpa sat and chuckled. FML
Today, I was touching myself in my room. Just as I hit the climax, my mom walked in because she heard me making noises and thought I was having a nightmare. FML
Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML
Today, I was watching TV with my grandma. She was looking for the remote, blindly trying to put her hand into the sofa. Instead, she shoved her hand down the back of my pants. FML
Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML
Today, my mom walked in on me jerking it in her bathroom. I'm a 40 year-old man and she's 68. FML
Today, I walked in on my mother rubbing one out. For the third time. I then had to explain to her, also for the third time, why pleasuring herself in the living room is inappropriate. FML
Today, I was in my room with the door locked and my mom knocked on the door. I said "don't come in, i'm naked!" She said "That's okay!" so she unlocked the door and walked in. I was masturbating. FML
Today, I was really horny after some dirty texts from my boyfriend. Since everyone seemed to be sleeping, I closed my eyes and started to touch myself. I was really close to climaxing when I opened my eyes and made eye contact with my mother staring at me as I was masturbating. FML
Today, I was masturbating in my bedroom, when suddenly, my mom opened the door and walked in with guests. I didn't react quick enough. FML
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Top comments
blondie1208 17
so how did the conversation with grandma go?
ZebulonPike 8
Owned!
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Comments (206)
WickedClownMCL 1
Awkward if grandma heard it. " Hi grandma.... How are you" "Horrified"
ifuckmonsters 5
Well, stop jacking off and talk to your grandmother!
bruinboy44 0
At least grandma is happy
Horcruxer 0
Bad girl
Guy247bp2 1
OP: "oh hey grandma, i'm loving those socks you gave me...". (American Pie reference)
Guy247bp2 1
I accidentally posted the comment twice. My bad.
RinaVampire31 18
Who the hell touches themselves because they're bored? ydi..
bassguy19 0
Probably alot of people
Amrel 10
Um totally not me, cause you know that would make me weird... People do it though I'm not one of those people though, you should just know its out there, or should i say "in there"
demonmonkey 13
Ummm... Me...
FusionFrenzy 10
Me
kickassnumerouno 0
Me.
perdix 31
Men.
sud4 1
...
XxMoeMoexX 5
Well who tries to be a fake vampire? Didn't think that threw did ya?? Fyl (;
Anumayis 34
me.
Kypopz 9
Why not both?
Guy247bp2 1
What?
urdirtyolduncle 15
I think she meant why doesn't OP do both of the jacking off and talking to the nice old grandma
Guy247bp2 1
Ohhhh. Okay.
UrAverageBrat 10
Was you grandma laughing at you when you got the phone?
UrAverageBrat 10
Was you grandma laughing at you when you got the phone?
MelTheGreat 23
I am really creepy.
Llamacod 11
Yes, yes you are
kickassnumerouno 0
Agreed. MelTheGreat is creepy.
littlemsweirdo 12
Yes you are. Because you felt the need to comment twice. And both your comments were quite odd
Pentium_4 27
it's okay to be creepy when you're attractive