Today, after having watched a scare story on the news about heart disease, my mom is now insisting that we have daily, hour-long, family yoga sessions together. I have a job, and barely have enough time to do my homework as it is. I'm going to be grounded if I don't take part. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Burn the witch!
Today, I told my mom I've been taking yoga lessons, and that it'd be cool if she took some with me. She immediately went on a rant, calling yoga "satanic" and accusing me of trying to get her into "devil worship". Well, that's the last time I try to patch our relationship up. FML
Not so Karate Kid
Today, my mom told me to do karate with her, and so I said no. Now my mom won't let me do anything until I go do karate with her. FML
Quarantine stress
Today, my mother complained all day while I'm trying to work from home. I started getting chest pains from the stress of everything having to be perfect or she has one of her meltdowns. FML
Today, my mom heard on TV that teens need at least ten hours of sleep a day. Now she makes me go to bed at 7pm. I told her I can't finish my homework in time, and my grades will suffer. She wouldn't listen. Last week, she threatened to punish me if I don't get straight As this semester. FML
Today, my mother threatened me if I keep wearing yoga pants to school, she's going to have my dad pick me up in a speedo. FML
Drama alert!
Today, I complained to my parents about chest pains. My mom said, "For fuck’s sake, it’s our day off. Can we just have ONE day without your drama?" Turns out, I was actually having a heart attack. She still won’t apologize, and is in fact mad at me for having a heart attack on her day off. FML
Let it be
Today, it seems that I can't enjoy one fucking weekend without my mom finding work for me to do to take up my time, and I'm sick of it! FML
Doormat blues
Today, my mom spent an hour lecturing me on how I'm a doormat who lets people walk all over me, and that I needed to be more assertive. So I stood up and told my dad, no, I am not going on that forestry camp he wants me to go to. Mom sat silently by as he screamed and grounded me for the entire summer. FML
Today, my mother admitted to me that she sends me up and down the stairs to get things for her because she thinks I could use the exercise. FML
Hank Pecker
Today, I woke up early, went to the gym, then came home and showered. When I went into my room to change, my mom woke up and started pounding on my door, screaming about how lazy and useless I was for sleeping so late. When I tried to tell her otherwise, she grounded me for "talking back". FML
Top comments
MelTheGreat 23
Clone yourself.
evilplatypus 39
And? What's the problem with being grounded if you don't have any time for anything but school, homework and your job? It sounds like if you're grounded things will be just as you need them.
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Comments (206)
easton222 2
That blows
poecowmoo101 8
That sucks
Sniperkid07 6
Your mom sucks
getoustahere 7
That stinks
AlaskanEskimo34 0
It's a proven stress reliever to do yoga, and we all know everyone needs to relieve some stress in todays ecomony.
kjcookie10 9
Paranoid much?
ColtsDoug18 0
Is it just me, or have the quality of comments dropped drastically lately...
KelpForBrains 0
Just like 1's comment
justmethough 8
If you only have time to work and do homework, why do you care so much about being grounded..?
salvorican 24
Cause you know, who doesn't love spending all their rare extra time being stuck at home staring at a wall
isitinmybedroom 11
Become a jew
Hunthas 17
Grounded so you can only go to work and do homework... And not yoga? If you don't have time anyways I fail to see the problem
ColdplaySucks 18
I have the luxury of having parents who can cook warm, healthy meals. It must suck to have parents who rely on KFC...
supnowww 0
Spread the love for Kim Hyun Joong
boofgall 16
If you're grounded, you'd have time to do your homework at least.. And skip the family yoga
Longboardowen 5
Did you ask your gramma for a blow?
herrobear 0
Scare story? Heart disease is, if I'm not mistaken, above smoking when it comes to killing people. It's very serious, and people with it usually say something along the lines of, "I didn't have time to workout."
aceman1992 9
Haha first 3 comments, how's it feel to fail?.…… can I have some money?
davidbdb485 0
#125 heart disease is the leading killer in the US. Not as big a deal in other countries, but there you have it. Sorry Op but at least it's some quality time spent with her?
StoryOfTheYear 15
74- That's pretty cool. Now let's stick to leaving comments that actually pertain to the FML.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
125 & 137 - This is another thing people shrug off and respond with something stupid like, "I'd rather eat 10 pounds of grease smothered, gravy covered, cheese stuffed, bacon wrapped, deep fried steak everyday and die young than give it up and live longer." Or "I'd rather be happy in front of the TV than be miserable on a treadmill." The fail in that logic comes from the fact that living unhealthily will catch up to you eventually, while you're still alive, and you most certainly will not be having the time of your life then. Even a little bit of effort can make a great difference in the way you look and feel, instantly. Generally, people who work on their overall well-being lead much, much happier lives. But some people will find any excuse to justify their laziness.
I_Punch_Babies 7
ydi if youre fat
Akai_fml 4
You've got a job, YDI for not getting your own place.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
171, It doesn't have to be torture, and as I said in general people who make an effort to live healthy are happy. That means, they're not doing it reluctantly and suffering from it. Being healthy isn't about simply living longer, but feeling much, much better for the duration of your life. The point of my previous post was that people who say they won't make an effort because they believe it's about being miserable are the ones who are just looking for an excuse. I've been a little overweight, and I've had a steady diet of nothing but junk food. The feeling resulting from being both a healthy weight and eating only natural food beats indulging in processed crap and laying around any ****** day. Two of my friends lost hundreds of pounds together with some hard work, and they agree that they would never go back to the way they were. In the end, it's up to you, and it's your own choice to make. Everybody's gotta die somehow, right? ;)
MelTheGreat 23
Clone yourself.
quite_bored 9
Seems like a reasonable solution.
JacobWithaY 5
At least you'll have a killer body
poecowmoo101 8
Better yet, make two clones. One for work, one for school, and the original can deal with the family!
quite_bored 9
Or, 24, she could make three. One for work, one for school, one for dealing with the family, and she can go do whatever she wants to.
saksxalmo 20
Wait, won't the family get suspicious when their son/daughter is replaced with an infant?
quite_bored 9
Well, 56, that's why she uses cloning coupled with time travel.
xXkingmikeXx 5
That would help I heard on tv that Koreans are cloning dogs, or she could agree and on the days of the yoga classes she could just say that she is busy
bitchslapped22 14
I wish I could clone myself 3 times, would be badass
quite_bored 9
Yeah, 63? I heard on TV that if your hand is bigger than your face you have cancer. Try it!
freakinglaugher 10
Show of hands fellow FML lurkers. If you could have a clone of yourself, would you have sex with yourself? **slowly raises hand**
weritomexican 7
^^^^ would that be considered gay or playing with yourself???O.o
thisisastalker 7
or just use a time turner
NanillaVipples 2
I don't see why you're all stopping at three clones. With an infinite army of me's the possibilities would be endless! Muhahahahahaha
freelove_fml 2
103 = win
KatMatt8 2
If you don't have time to do anything, why would it matter if you were grounded?
Lovers_in_Japan 1
103 i like the way you think
Ozone1232 5
And then...bricks were shat.
I_Punch_Babies 7
facepalm....get it? ah im so badass
iplayhockey3 9
Yeah, that sucks...
brianfantana32 10
Such creativity in your comment, congratulations
max_wilder 9
Do your hmwk when your grounded
quite_bored 9
Maybe you should do your homework, 45.
desireev 18
Yeah.. You obviously do your "hmwk", don't ya 45?
btnhdude 0
I take a sheet before doing my homework..
StoryOfTheYear 15
45- If you are going to shorten a word why not just shorten it all the way and say "hw"? Are you really that lazy that you were too lazy to be lazy and stopped halfway between being lazy and actually typing the word out.
CaptainCola 7
Studies show that grounding your children can help reduce the chances of heart disease O.O
Miss_Attitude96 24
Doggy facing sun.
Amrel 10
What the hell are you talking about?
chili10 18
It sounds like a made up yoga position.
Rosebudteg 4
It's a yoga pose. Although I've heard it called the Upward Facing Dog Pose of Sun Salutation. I used to think Yoga would be easy and a pseudo-exercise until I tried it. Holy moly it's tough and an absolute workout.
Miss_Attitude96 24
That's one of our softball stretches, and we don't know what it's "officially" called, so we made it up.
Miss_Attitude96 24
Thank you, Rosebud.
quite_bored 9
Even if that was a yoga pose, why would you think that was a good comment?
getoustahere 7
It's cuz she cares. :)
girl112891 7
It's nice that she cares but she should consider your busy schedule.
Michael87Jackson_fml 10
She obviously doesn't care if she is grounding her when she knows she has a busy schedule. :P
J3R3MYY 14
Maybe just do ur homework when your grounded. Reasonable solution? I think so.
PurpleChica9 0
Well that's rude of your mom! Even if she's your mom she shouldn't FORCE you to do yoga... -__- Good thing she cares tho(:
fancyclown 9
OP could just do her homework in a flying lotus pose. Problem, mom?
dhall30 8
Op should quit her/ his job because school and fitness are much more Important than a job, especially in the long run.
Dark__Angel66 24
Thats what student loans are for, so a job isn't always necessary.
weritomexican 7
"student loans" are basically pointless because, afterwards you have to spend the rest of your life paying them back so your debt won't be passed onto your kids. Grants and scholarships are the way to go.
BeaterOfTheDrums 15
That's why it is called a LOAN, they expect you to pay it back. It's just like going to the bank and asking for a loan to get a house. If you don't pay it back over they take your home. If you don't pay student loans they come after you later on when you want to retire, or deny your kids for loans. And not everyone can get a grant/scholarship.
BeaterOfTheDrums 15
Pay it back over *however many years*
PrincessesCrown 17
Student loans are the worst. It's not impossible to get through collage without one trust me. My sister did it without my parents help.
Dark__Angel66 24
Well get a degree in something that'll get you a good job (example: accounting, engineering) and there won't be a problem paying off loans.
Unabletuna 6
Try and make your schedule more flexible
TheMaster15 10
Her mom wants her body to be more flexible.
lotrgeek 10
Hahaha pun!
AnnieHodge03 0
May I join you?
bruinboy44 0
Yes, please bring bring your yoga pants. They're hot.
evilplatypus 39
And? What's the problem with being grounded if you don't have any time for anything but school, homework and your job? It sounds like if you're grounded things will be just as you need them.
BuhBuhBoomer 2
Well some parents have different forms of grounding, like some might not let you hang out with friends, but they could also take away your phone or computer or something, which could be your only way to connect with friends since you are constantly working or doing something for school. However I see where you're coming from as well.
anzie_fml 9
My parents haven't grounded me for ages, but they always threaten that they're going to make me quit my jobs first. It doesn't make much sense to me, considering I'm paying for things that they would otherwise be paying for themselves... So if OP's parents are like mine at all, getting grounded could mean no job too.
hero93 6
If you're grounded you can just do your homework.