Today, I was bored and started touching myself watching TV. My mother walked into my bedroom with a phone in her hand and yelled, "Stop jacking off and talk to your grandmother." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was watching TV with my grandpa, and he stopped flipping channels on a movie with a hot naked chick getting oiled down. Suddenly the remote landed on my stomach as my mom and grandma walked in. They yelled at me for being a pervert, while my grandpa sat and chuckled. FML
Today, I was touching myself in my room. Just as I hit the climax, my mom walked in because she heard me making noises and thought I was having a nightmare. FML
Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML
Today, I was watching TV with my grandma. She was looking for the remote, blindly trying to put her hand into the sofa. Instead, she shoved her hand down the back of my pants. FML
Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML
Today, my mom walked in on me jerking it in her bathroom. I'm a 40 year-old man and she's 68. FML
Today, I walked in on my mother rubbing one out. For the third time. I then had to explain to her, also for the third time, why pleasuring herself in the living room is inappropriate. FML
Today, I was in my room with the door locked and my mom knocked on the door. I said "don't come in, i'm naked!" She said "That's okay!" so she unlocked the door and walked in. I was masturbating. FML
Today, I was really horny after some dirty texts from my boyfriend. Since everyone seemed to be sleeping, I closed my eyes and started to touch myself. I was really close to climaxing when I opened my eyes and made eye contact with my mother staring at me as I was masturbating. FML
Today, I was masturbating in my bedroom, when suddenly, my mom opened the door and walked in with guests. I didn't react quick enough. FML
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Top comments
blondie1208 17
so how did the conversation with grandma go?
ZebulonPike 8
Owned!
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Comments (206)
AnnieHodge03 0
Grandma must be proud.
Amrel 10
What a jerk! She is going to make the next conversation with your granny hard! If your granny was there she would have beat you till you walked with a limp!
Anglar 5
lol that was such a long stupid line of puns that it's actually funny. nice one.
redrumbear 9
A limp like a pimp?
hero93 6
I think OP wants to be beat though.
PurpleChica9 0
Well if your bored and watching TV maybe next time try something else...
Amrel 10
When i first saw your picture i laughed my ass off, i dont know why its so funny
L1v3_L0v3_Lau9h 18
Drake? Josh? Hug me brother! Oh, I loved that show :)
AlaskanEskimo34 0
************ is nothing new for parents to catch their kids doing, I'd just worry about not getting grandma's cookies next visit.
mxpklx 12
I see what you did there...
Pelreskovich 11
Well that makes your next visit to your grandmother that much more awkward. Most people have touched themselves at some point, but most are more sly. Good luck OP!
FmaFangirl 9
Lock the door?
Guy247bp2 1
OP: "oh hey grandma, i'm loving those socks you gave me...". (American Pie reference)
Tekdiver 4
Maybe your grandma will buy you some lube for your next birthday
babyshaft408 8
Haha that's the greatest
AshleyCole 0
Atleast she's keeping it in the family lol