Today, I was laying in bed with the covers over me, when I got an itch on my leg. It felt really good to scratch it so I got really into it. At that very moment my mom walked in, saw me doing a back and forth motion under the covers, gave me a look of disgust, and walked out. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got some really bad mosquito bites on the outside of my thighs. They itched, and my jeans prevented me from scratching them, so I unbuttoned my pants, stuck my down my leg and started scratching. My mom walked in, and won't believe I wasn't masturbating. FML
Today, the rash on my thigh started itching again. I felt good after a vigorous scratch, but the relief did not extend to my roommate, who only saw me at my laptop with my hand moving up and down in my pants. FML
Today, my dad walked in on me masturbating. All I could say was, "Uh, I had an itch…" FML
Today, I was touching myself in my room. Just as I hit the climax, my mom walked in because she heard me making noises and thought I was having a nightmare. FML
Today, I decided to lay out and tan. I fell asleep and got sun burned and bitten numerous times by mosquitoes. If I scratch my itch, the burn hurts terribly. If I don't scratch it, it itches terribly. FML
Today, I was masturbating on my inflatable air mattress that squeaks when you move. Suddenly, my mom burst into my room to ask if I was okay because she thought the squeaking was me crying. I ripped my hands from my pants and turned on my side; she walked over and grabbed my hands to console me. FML
Today, I was walking to the bus in my favorite jeans, and I felt a uncontrollable itch in my leg. I scratched and it went away, but then I felt something moving on my leg. I hadn't worn my jeans in so long that a spider had decided to make it a nest. FML
Today, I was laying in bed facing my dad. In the middle of our conversation, I noticed he became interested in something behind me. I turn around to the sight of my mom lifting up her shirt, flashing her boobs. FML
Today, I was dry-walling a house when my butt started to itch. I bent over to scratch it on a piece of plywood, at which point the client's wife walked in and asked what the fuck I was doing. FML
Today, after receiving a lovely massage from my boyfriend, I was lying topless in bed beside him. Just as I was thinking this would be the perfect opportunity for some intimacy, he looks at me and says, "My mom is SO awesome." FML
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Top comments
BroSkii69 8
OH YEAAAH BABY SCRATCH THAT LEG REEEAAAL GOOD ******* face*
NeedAHaircut 0
When will kids these days learn. when your parents walk in on you masturbating always follow 2 simple steps: 1. Look them right in the eyes 2. Finish masturbating. they will never walk in your room without knocking again
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Comments (71)
AssDan 0
It does look awkward though when you are caught "scratching your leg" with the 20" black rubber fist.
5t3ff1k4h 47
Who gets "really into" scratching their leg? Sure it feels good... but that's a little too strong of a reaction IMO.
stronghand0331 17
The person who wasn't really scratching their leg..
WarmedIce 0
I do...if it's a scratch that's been bothering me for a bit.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Lulz, I have been known to do a little moaning and groaning while scratching mosquito bites. I'm ridiculously sensitive to them, so they swell up and bruise. A good scratch is definitely, um, relieving! ;)
5t3ff1k4h 47
21 - I interpreted this FML to mean OP was scratching their leg, got really into it as Jane and the other poster have shown people do, and their mother caught them and assumed the worst... just like it says. Jane - I see your point, but I'm picturing OP getting so into it they appear to be orgasming... I can't imagine anyone going that far. ;)
machiko_fml 0
You should have told her what you were doing.
musicgirlxx 0
LMFAO!!
HMayy 4
You were blatantly just masturbating.
imright24 0
You were just scratching an itch. We all know what that itch was though. You're not fooling anyone, especially your mom.
gigilvrs6 0
Who knows maybe she left to take off her clothes.
myth454 2
incest is wincest
Leetswaglordmaybe2 9
win
Lounia_fml 8
isn't this really similar to the petting the cat while in bed FML?
Lounia_fml 8
WHICH LEG WERE YOU SCRATCHING HUH? THE LEFT, RIGHT, OR THE ONE IN BETWEEN?
tompullinger 0
this probley happend to geee give him a fuckenn brake
bethan1 4
You should asked her to help you out real quick.