Today, the rash on my thigh started itching again. I felt good after a vigorous scratch, but the relief did not extend to my roommate, who only saw me at my laptop with my hand moving up and down in my pants. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was laying in bed with the covers over me, when I got an itch on my leg. It felt really good to scratch it so I got really into it. At that very moment my mom walked in, saw me doing a back and forth motion under the covers, gave me a look of disgust, and walked out. FML
Today, I woke up with an extremely irritable rash around my crotch. I didn't want to full out itch it by putting my hands down my pants, so I itched it by putting my hand in my pockets. I got kicked off the train for "pleasuring myself in public." FML
Today, I got some really bad mosquito bites on the outside of my thighs. They itched, and my jeans prevented me from scratching them, so I unbuttoned my pants, stuck my down my leg and started scratching. My mom walked in, and won't believe I wasn't masturbating. FML
Today, I felt an itch on my butt so I went to the bathroom to scratch it. It was actually a dried layer of skin that broke from years of wear and tear, and now every time I shit I feel immense pain for the next hour. FML
Today, I decided to lay out and tan. I fell asleep and got sun burned and bitten numerous times by mosquitoes. If I scratch my itch, the burn hurts terribly. If I don't scratch it, it itches terribly. FML
Today, something flew up the back of my shorts while I was at work. I now have itchy hot welts the size of my palm coating the back and inside of both my upper thighs. FML
Today, I was in a shopping center when I went to the toilet. I came out, washed my hands and suddenly got a massive itch in my crotch. Without thinking I itched it. I then had to walk around the center with a wet hand print on my crotch. FML
Today, trying to exercise and be more healthy, I went for a walk but I developed a friction thigh rash. The rash is so bad I will likely not be able to get on another walk for days. FML
Today, I was walking to the bus in my favorite jeans, and I felt a uncontrollable itch in my leg. I scratched and it went away, but then I felt something moving on my leg. I hadn't worn my jeans in so long that a spider had decided to make it a nest. FML
Today, my thigh was itchy, so I went into a bathroom stall to scratch it. I, for some reason, moaned out loud while doing it. After that, the men's bathroom went completely silent. FML
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Top comments
whyusofat 17
Dont make any rash decisions now op. just explain what was going on. No need to scratch the surface of a possibly good friendship you two might have.
Agtthepw 21
The relief smile probably contributed to the awkwardness. What happen then? Did your roommate just leave the room with a sorry-that-I-disturbed-you face?
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Comments (55)
Kibaruto 33
Did you stare while doing so?
whyusofat 17
Dont make any rash decisions now op. just explain what was going on. No need to scratch the surface of a possibly good friendship you two might have.
dawsonstar 15
This comment. The puns hurt.
drewflav 17
They may hurt but they're not overused ones like the majority seen on FML. I actually thought it was funny!
samgreco 5
#25 i agree! Lol
MegaError101 10
He will understand, just tell him.
Markymark1202 12
He's like"Can you not FAP right i front of me!!!"
PenguinBitch 44
Yeah OP, can you not FAP because you're a girl.
Clay_Pidgeon 11
girls can fap... don't they have those tiny little penis thingys.
canupls 6
@clay_pidgeon yes, and they also have two tiny little balls that hang down below to go with it.
cryssycakesx3 23
actually girls *schlick schlick schlick*
paigexox0 37
#23, idk what kind of girls you've been with but last time i checked im proud to say i didnt have a tiny penis thingy
kozzard 17
I think 23 was referring to a clitioris(sp) which develops into a penis when the genetic coding kicks in and changes the "default" gender from female to male. I could be wrong, trying to use logic on the Interwebs
Clay_Pidgeon 11
yes #35. I was referring to a ********.
Agtthepw 21
The relief smile probably contributed to the awkwardness. What happen then? Did your roommate just leave the room with a sorry-that-I-disturbed-you face?
PenguinBitch 44
"It also didn't extend to us o_o" -NSA through webcam
Box0choklitz 8
well as long as you clarified what was going on, I'm sure they would have understood.
Sports_guy3 28
Unless the roommate's a headstrong idiot.
TXFernwoods 26
HA HA HA! I thought this was hilarious(: Hopefully your roommate understands :D
AlonsoKold 15
Look into their eyes and tell them it wasn't you
damaniii 7
Well you do have "rashional"explanation for the misunderstandment.
cleary30 13
You didn't.. Oh but you did. Good one!