Today, my 5 year-old twin boys decided to teach each other how to fly off the shed out back. They are still in their pajamas. Batman's arm is broken and Spiderman has a slight concussion. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my son wanted to be Spiderman. He found the biggest spider he could outside and let it bite his hand. He's staying overnight in the hospital. FML
Today, my 6 year-old son and his cousin were play boxing. For fun, I taught them some real moves. I guess my son is a natural but my nephew got hit so hard he fell over and broke his arm. Now I have to explain this to my wife and her sister. FML
Today, my 4-year-old twin sons discovered how to lock doors. They locked me out of the house while I was taking out the trash. I had to climb through the kitchen window, which they'd generously smeared with peanut butter. FML
Today, my son broke his hand when he and his best friend had the genius idea of punching each other in the fists as hard as they could. FML
Today, I slipped on my son's Hot Wheels cars and fell onto a building made out of Lego. I now have a fractured tailbone and a broken wrist. I called my husband to tell him what happened and all he could do was laugh. My son didn't leave them on the floor, my husband did. FML
Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML
Today, I found a banana peel on the clean floor. My 4-year-old son said that he was playing Spider-Man and trying to slip. I picked it up and while walking to the kitchen garbage can, slipped on the actual banana. I slid across the kitchen floor, fell, and bruised my tailbone. He laughed. FML
Today, I was babysitting 3 toddlers. I wanted to entertain them by making them laugh, but nothing worked. Later on, I started down the stairs, but tripped and tumbled down. I realized I have broken my arm and bruised my knees. I also realized that kids think it's hilarious when you get injured. FML
Today, I babysat my neighbour's spoilt bratty twins. When I told them it was their bed time, they pushed me over. One then started smashing me with a plastic sword, and as I lay helpless on the floor the other one peed on me. I got owned by two five year olds. FML
Today, my son has a habit of picking on his little brother when in a bad mood. I heard a massive crash and found him out cold with his little brother holding a homemade slingshot and a bunch of rocks. Apparently, in school they just learned about David and Goliath. FML
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Top comments
shinicat 11
Silly kids, Batman and Spiderman can't fly. I hope they're ok though
fleg 9
How about you watch your children so stuff like that doesn't happen?
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Comments (332)
christi321 0
you can't watch your kids every second.. things happen to everyone and unless you have your child in a bubble, their going to get hurt every now and then! especially boys lol :)
hankwareagle 0
to all the mothers thinking their better, ive had 7 broken bones, 2 surgerys, almost arrested twice, ive been watched CONSTANTLY for 17 years, but kids are like inmates in a prison, they will figure you out and know when your arent looking to screw you over and do something that sounds awesome, like jumping from a trampoline into a pool in late january(8 almost got pnuemonia) or how about jumping your bike going up a baby slide (12 broke an arm and landed in a rose bush) or the best in my opinion deciding to do donuts in your Go kart, and it flipped (14 came out unscathed), and im going to the best university in my state on a full ride scholarship, i didnt turn out too bad
jcmmbaby 0
You can expect a parent to protect their kids from everything. How are they supposed to learn?
DawnMarie11 0
As a mom I understand kids will get into trouble, but for the time that is required for your children to climb up onto a roof of a shed says you had to have not paid attention for quite some time....
hoonyer 17
I wish that I could fly Way up in the sky Like a bird so high Oh i might just try, oh i might just try
darthrawn 0
Everyone knows spiderman and batman cant fly.
FredtheFailLord 4
Your kids deserved it. Spiderman and Batman can't fly!
horsegirl19 0
Lol! Kids! Hope they are alright! Maybe they will learn that the shed inst the best place to attempt the fly ! :) And really people there kids! Let them believe what they want and you can't tell me you didn't do stupid stuff when you were younger!
BeastMode5 0
Silly parent, you're supposed to get one of them Superman pajamas. To save the other, ya know?
Pushka 8
Boyz will be boyz=)