Today, at the microbiology lab, I discovered that the guy who took the shift before me didn't sterilize the work space very well. I am now blowing chunks from both ends from a very nasty strain of E. Coli. My company blames me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at work in a lab. I spent all day growing a large bacterial culture. I went to retrieve it, only to find that someone had turned the incubation shaker up too high, and my flask had flown off and shattered. Not only did I lose all my work, but now the whole room is a biohazard. FML
Today, I was teaching my microbiology lab class as a graduate TA. Some dumbass frat boy dared his friend to drink a tube of E. coli and the idiot did it. Now everything in the lab is contaminated with vomit. FML
Today, I was sick from both ends at work. My boss wouldn't let me go home, and told me to borrow a pair of spare pants to change into. I suffered another bout of gastroenteritis and shit someone else's pants. FML
Today, I was working as a paramedic when my patient's colostomy bag exploded all over me. I was covered in fecal matter, with 5 hours left on my shift. FML
Today, I work in a grocery store and a woman suffering from diarrhea somehow managed to get shit up and down two of the store aisles, then go to the ladies room and mess up the stall. I was the only one working trained in deal with bio-hazardous waste so I had to clean it up. FML
Today, it was my first day as a pharm tech. Two hours into my shift, I came down with awful food poisoning, causing me to go to the restroom multiple times before eventually leaving. I'd filled multiple controlled substances today and can't help but think my coworkers are thinking I'm a drug addict. FML
Today, at work I had to spend two hours cleaning up stinky toilet water. Why? Because yesterday, I forgot to turn on the septic tank pumps. The tank overflowed, and so did all the toilets. My boss is not happy. FML
Today, I have food poisoning. My boss told me that if I didn't come into work, I'd be fired. Not 30 minutes after sitting down, I sneezed and shat my pants. My boss still won't let me leave. FML
Today, as if having diarrhea at work wasn’t bad enough, my office’s aggressively flushing toilet sprayed me with my own liquid shit. FML
Today, someone had explosive diarrhea in my bathroom at work and didn't clean it up. I'm the only woman in the office and I have only one toilet with no window or fan, so I have to leave the door open to air it out. It's right beside the canteen. Everyone will think it was me. FML
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Top comments
stinkmeaner 3
Thats why you should sterilize before you start your shift!!!
perdix 31
Or about finding a job.
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Comments (131)
TheDeadlyTurtle 7
This is why I want a bubble or riot shield
oreobunbun 3
I call bullshit
fireice22 0
Don't you need to wear gloves and a face mask? Seems to me you skipped the rules and payed the price.
MelTheGreat 23
I can find one. I'm going into administration after. Thanks for the negativity though. :)
rahavan 15
I would like this story more if it were written properly. So FYL OP for living in the USA and not being able to write well. If English is not your first language I forgive you.
MedKits 9
26- Surprising as it may be, a paper thin mask and some latex does not protect you 100 percent from viruses. Just go to a free clinic and ask any guy there who's condom broke.
rahavan 15
They fixed it. So my previous comment is now invalid.
TheDeadlyTurtle 7
I use a riot shield on COD because I'm a turtle , I just think it'd be cool to own one in real life.
DrMaverickRanger 4
E. Coli is not a virus...Just saying...
desireev 18
Rahavan- how does he not write well? It seemed pretty well typed out to me!
MelTheGreat 23
Already have one, thank you.
1two3four5six 23
i hate my mum for moving from the UK to the US (taking me, my big sis, and my big bro with her), and I hate the US even more for existing, but DAMN that was cold
ImFrackinBored 13
Is it wrong if I read it as "took the shit before me" the first time?
IThinkItsAlright 7
That shit blows.
iamesauce 4
I think this FML is a load of shit.
Meowingtons500 18
Enough with the shit comments! We learned that they suck yesterday. -_-
iamesauce 4
I don't want to hear your shit.
MelTheGreat 23
I already have a job lined up. Good points, guys.
natskie 7
Well ya it's your fault...clean up Even after someone supposedly Did. Gotta watch your own back in this world OP!
TitsDaw 0
Find him!
nadyy14 8
Kick him in the nuts and see if he blows!
mxpklx 12
I swear if this op works at the microbiology lab that makes aspartame I think he deserves it you stupid lying greedy killers....
Brandi_Faith 34
Chances are that the other guy has it too. After all he was the one working there first in his "unclean" environment. E. Coli can be extremely serious though. My cousin got it once, passed out, went to the hospital and within 24 hrs she was almost dead. So ya, FYL Op!
Jiplo 18
and make him regret not cleaning up after you find him!
MoZZie_fml 0
dude that sucks.. I say leave your own mess for him
Capt_Oblivious 10
You should check out some Eboli and leave him a surprise.
iamesauce 4
What the hell is an eboli?
heimdallr 14
#23, a town in Italy.
leezach 7
Didn't you mean Ebola?
BoCo_fml 9
Maybe he meant Ebola and E-Coli mixed.
antmanzero 8
@65 Ohh, that sounds shitty...
diidiimi 10
Is Eboli the plural of Ebola? or is Ebola already a plural noun? Should the singular be Ebolus? Aargh, I'm confused!!
mq97 14
Okay ebola is just so much more fatal to a point where that wasn't even funny
thwei 0
Why blame you? He signed it out.
Serythvalker 7
But usually the employee on shift CURRENTLY, is responsible for the working environment. Yes it sucks when the one before you is irresponsible, and leaves a mess, but you can't leave it, it's your business.
jackassiddy 8
I hate to say it but technically he is to blame.. The first thing I was taught for working in a lab is to sterilize your station before you do anything because of this exact situation.
sulitak 27
Hospitals tell you the same: sterilize at the start and end of the project. so when I get in to work... I PDI the desk, and at the end of my shift I PDI it again...
MelTheGreat 23
That's why I'm an English major. Don't have to worry about that stuff. :)
perdix 31
Or about finding a job.
LouisianaBob 9
I hate english majors and english teachers. *stink eye*
Jirekianu2 19
You have bigger problems. Like employment.
graham11 14
7- good luck with your "career"!
white16sox 19
95 I laugh everytime I see that pic.
DFlit1 0
Damn Op at least u can find the guy cuz he does still work there right? If not find his home and send him a little dirty present ;)
castlebabii 6
Hahah do it!!
iloveboyswittats 10
There's a reason that they tell you to sterilize before AND after.
iTrollYou_fml 2
Aaaaaand this is why microbiology labs don't appeal to me. Feel better OP
ljcarranza 16
blowing chunks from both ends?? fyl definitely maybe you can relieve yourself in his locker or something