Today, at the microbiology lab, I discovered that the guy who took the shift before me didn't sterilize the work space very well. I am now blowing chunks from both ends from a very nasty strain of E. Coli. My company blames me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at work in a lab. I spent all day growing a large bacterial culture. I went to retrieve it, only to find that someone had turned the incubation shaker up too high, and my flask had flown off and shattered. Not only did I lose all my work, but now the whole room is a biohazard. FML
Today, I was teaching my microbiology lab class as a graduate TA. Some dumbass frat boy dared his friend to drink a tube of E. coli and the idiot did it. Now everything in the lab is contaminated with vomit. FML
Today, I was sick from both ends at work. My boss wouldn't let me go home, and told me to borrow a pair of spare pants to change into. I suffered another bout of gastroenteritis and shit someone else's pants. FML
Today, I was working as a paramedic when my patient's colostomy bag exploded all over me. I was covered in fecal matter, with 5 hours left on my shift. FML
Today, I work in a grocery store and a woman suffering from diarrhea somehow managed to get shit up and down two of the store aisles, then go to the ladies room and mess up the stall. I was the only one working trained in deal with bio-hazardous waste so I had to clean it up. FML
Today, it was my first day as a pharm tech. Two hours into my shift, I came down with awful food poisoning, causing me to go to the restroom multiple times before eventually leaving. I'd filled multiple controlled substances today and can't help but think my coworkers are thinking I'm a drug addict. FML
Today, at work I had to spend two hours cleaning up stinky toilet water. Why? Because yesterday, I forgot to turn on the septic tank pumps. The tank overflowed, and so did all the toilets. My boss is not happy. FML
Today, I have food poisoning. My boss told me that if I didn't come into work, I'd be fired. Not 30 minutes after sitting down, I sneezed and shat my pants. My boss still won't let me leave. FML
Today, as if having diarrhea at work wasn’t bad enough, my office’s aggressively flushing toilet sprayed me with my own liquid shit. FML
Today, someone had explosive diarrhea in my bathroom at work and didn't clean it up. I'm the only woman in the office and I have only one toilet with no window or fan, so I have to leave the door open to air it out. It's right beside the canteen. Everyone will think it was me. FML
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Top comments
stinkmeaner 3
Thats why you should sterilize before you start your shift!!!
perdix 31
Or about finding a job.
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Comments (131)
majorasshole 4
What does chunks have to say about it?
microgoddess 2
Wow you nasty ****... Why are you putting your hands in your mouth after working in the lab anyways? So either you don't use gloves AND don't wash your hands, or you are an idiot and somehow stuck your fingers in your mouth while working. Either way... FAIL!
Matt20264 4
Double sterilization is always a good idea... Just saying OP
neongurl98 10
U have a good job! Don't **** your life, f your day (or 2)!!
pike1346 3
Well, if you work in a lab, you should be protecting yourself with good hygiene and the proper protection to guard against contamination.
linnie_wesker 20
YDI I've worked in a lab before, you're supposed to clean the area before AND after you're done working. So you're saying you just went in and started working without bothering to clean first... I'm sorry, it sucks, but when you work in a lab you have to be extremely careful. Clearly you were not.
bannedforlife 0
Never trust anyone else's word when it comes to communicable diseases. Wrap it, sanitize it, whatever the situation demands.
beastiefish 6
When I first read this I read "the guy who took the *shit before me"... And was very confused. I re-read it tho. Your version is much better.
awesomelikethat 0
Wow that's terrible!!! I really hope you feel better! What the **** are you doing on FML if I have e coli??
oksk8ers 9
I learned about E. coli in bio honors today