Today, at the microbiology lab, I discovered that the guy who took the shift before me didn't sterilize the work space very well. I am now blowing chunks from both ends from a very nasty strain of E. Coli. My company blames me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at work in a lab. I spent all day growing a large bacterial culture. I went to retrieve it, only to find that someone had turned the incubation shaker up too high, and my flask had flown off and shattered. Not only did I lose all my work, but now the whole room is a biohazard. FML
Today, I was teaching my microbiology lab class as a graduate TA. Some dumbass frat boy dared his friend to drink a tube of E. coli and the idiot did it. Now everything in the lab is contaminated with vomit. FML
Today, I was sick from both ends at work. My boss wouldn't let me go home, and told me to borrow a pair of spare pants to change into. I suffered another bout of gastroenteritis and shit someone else's pants. FML
Today, I was working as a paramedic when my patient's colostomy bag exploded all over me. I was covered in fecal matter, with 5 hours left on my shift. FML
Today, I work in a grocery store and a woman suffering from diarrhea somehow managed to get shit up and down two of the store aisles, then go to the ladies room and mess up the stall. I was the only one working trained in deal with bio-hazardous waste so I had to clean it up. FML
Today, it was my first day as a pharm tech. Two hours into my shift, I came down with awful food poisoning, causing me to go to the restroom multiple times before eventually leaving. I'd filled multiple controlled substances today and can't help but think my coworkers are thinking I'm a drug addict. FML
Today, at work I had to spend two hours cleaning up stinky toilet water. Why? Because yesterday, I forgot to turn on the septic tank pumps. The tank overflowed, and so did all the toilets. My boss is not happy. FML
Today, I have food poisoning. My boss told me that if I didn't come into work, I'd be fired. Not 30 minutes after sitting down, I sneezed and shat my pants. My boss still won't let me leave. FML
Today, as if having diarrhea at work wasn’t bad enough, my office’s aggressively flushing toilet sprayed me with my own liquid shit. FML
Today, someone had explosive diarrhea in my bathroom at work and didn't clean it up. I'm the only woman in the office and I have only one toilet with no window or fan, so I have to leave the door open to air it out. It's right beside the canteen. Everyone will think it was me. FML
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Top comments
stinkmeaner 3
Thats why you should sterilize before you start your shift!!!
perdix 31
Or about finding a job.
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Comments (131)
stinkmeaner 3
Thats why you should sterilize before you start your shift!!!
RedPillSucks 33
Never ever trust the person before you to clean up properly. Before you start, always sterilize your work area, that way you know it's done right. Sorry, but YDI
KiddNYC1O 22
Yeah, like going to a public shitter. You sterilize it by not sitting on it.
Fruitmonster2 15
So your the one who always ***** everywhere but in the bowl.
KiddNYC1O 22
you're* and no, I actually use the toilet cover sheets.
diidiimi 10
You can also get little cans of spray disinfectant for public loos. Those + paper covers = safer. Like condoms and the pill.
birdfreak 24
Damn that blows.
sheethapins 13
Time to go find him and give him a big huge hug and kiss for encouragement.
DoorMatCat 3
your profile picture adds to your comment. bravo. xD
flockz 20
you must have quite a set of lungs on you.
highfashonlife 1
That's why you should always sanitize your work space before you start, for someone who works in a lab you should know that. So technically it is your fault.
iArmy 6
That's the first thing I thought of. Whenever you're in your own environment working with anything that involves contaminants. Sterilize. It doesn't take a genius for that... Or, well, maybe for OP it does, haha.
kpknight44 0
Poop on his porch
perdix 31
Make sure "Chunks" takes you out to dinner and a movie for that. Odd nickname, but whatevs.
flockz 20
yes, and also don't willingly blow someone who doesn't sterilize their "work place". if you want the cream of the crop in the penis department, i suggest you stop your studying of micro organisms.
perdix 31
Yeah, listen to flockz. He's the resident scholar on macro orgasms.
flockz 20
thanks for the recognition perdix! but i would not be as regarded as i am today about this study if it weren't for test subjects like you. your results from being a furry are definitely going to allow us to make vast strides in the study of that area!
Lintu_26 23
That was hilarious #20 thank you! :D FYL OP!
xSorry_fml 10
Aren't you also supposed to sterilize your work area when you get there?
iamesauce 4
FYL. That shit's nasty.